Shake Milton 20 Points Full Highlights (3/5/2020)

I feel like 76ers fans have major beefs with pretty much every player on their roster. Ben Simmons: Can’t shoot, won’t shoot, will ignore pleading of coaches and teammates for him to please, please, please shoot the ball Joel Embiid: Inexplicably disappears in important games, Al Horford: Huge waste of money, old, can’t shoot, can’t…

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Shake Milton Career High 39 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/1/2020)

Shake Milton opened his eyes, took one look at the unfamiliar surroundings, and wearily closed his eyes again. He knew he was dreaming, and attempted to will himself into waking up. However, when he next opened his eyes, the scene hadn’t changed, and there was still the hardness of stone against his back rather than…

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Shake Milton 19 Points Full Highlights (2/27/2020)

In the absence of other subjects to base this description on, I decided to look up Shake Milton’s hometown of Owasso, Oklahoma. But first I’ll list out my preconceived notions of what Owasso might be like. The name of the town makes it sound like it was hit by a tornado in the movie Twister…

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Shake Milton 20 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2020)

Man, it would have been so awesome for this game to have taken place in Philadelphia rather than in Cleveland. Sure, it’s great for the Cleveland faithful to get to see a Cavaliers win live and in the flesh, but you know would be even better? A whole arena of Philadelphia fans (who spent the…

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Shake Milton 17 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2020)

After this loss, the potential injury to Ben Simmons, the continued ineffectiveness of Al Horford, and the enigmatic (and not the good kind of enigmatic, either, the bad kind, the kind where you’re like “why isn’t he playing better?”) play of Joel Embiid, it might be time for the 76ers to do what they do…

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Shake Milton Career High 27 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/30/2020)

Shake “Shake Shaq” Milton doesn’t actually have that many similarities to the famous Shaquille O’Neal, despite what his nickname (which I came up with just now) would imply. He’s not big like Shaq. He can’t bully people like Shaq. He’s not a perennial MVP snub like Shaq was in his prime. However, Milton does have…

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Shake Milton 13 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2019)

Since I was wondering what kind of horrible name this dude’s parents came up with for him to prefer the moniker “Shake”, I’m going to venture over to Wikipedia, everybody’s favorite community-edited encyclopedia, to find out what his real name actually is. I mean, it’s gotta be completely embarrassing and awful, right? Is it “Shakille”?…

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Shake Milton 11 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2019)

If this were the 76ers of a few years ago, you just know that Shake Milton would be averaging 17 points per game while getting to chuck any shot he wanted. Maybe he’d even be in the convo for ROY. But this is not the 76ers of a few years ago. This is the 76ers…

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