Pascal Siakam 26 Points/1 Championship Full Highlights (6/13/2019)

My game six viewing experience was interesting to say the least. Most of the time I’m a solitary basketball watcher. I don’t go to bars or restaurants to watch the games because those places are loud and the TV’s are usually too far away. The few times I’ve been in one against my will while…

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George Hill 19 Points Jazz Debut Full Highlights (10/25/2016)

“…OFFICIAL MOST UNEXPECTED THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE 2016-17 NBA SEASON POWER RANKINGS” “1. Anthony Bennett will average eight points per game. This is because the Nets will be garbage. The Nets’ garbageness will surprise nobody, but Anthony Bustett managing to bumble his way into a large number of double-digit scoring games should bamboozle…

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Rodney Hood 26 Points Full Highlights (10/25/2016)

Soon after the crystal tendrils of Adam Silver’s hyper-evolved posthuman form had spread over my body and fully overwhelmed it, there was a brief period of darkness. I could feel my consciousness being transferred from my mortal human shell into the perplexing computer-like structure. All at once, I lost the feeling of gripping cold on…

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Draymond Green 32 Points/9 Assists/1 Lost Championship Full Highlights (6/19/2016)

In the NBA’s hibernation complex, located deep in the desolate sands of Death Valley, I flipped off the TV with satisfaction, but also with sadness. The Cavaliers had proven their tenacity with a Game 7 Finals win, but with the culmination of that tenacity also came the end of the NBA season. So enraptured had…

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Dirk Nowitzki All 106 Fadeaway Jumpers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dirkilation)

(Description is a continuation of this season’s first video: https://youtu.be/I196J8Ev63I ) Walking around my apartment, which has somehow been modified to ignore the rules of spaciality, I engage in conversation with the hundreds of NBA role players which currently occupy it. They have been here the whole season, keeping me company while I compiled their…

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Aaron Gordon 11 Points Magic Debut Full Highlights (10/28/2014)

Slumbering serenely in my bed, I dreamt of all the normal subjects: females, unrecognized anxieties, food, and things that my waking brain does not let me recall. Whatever my dream was at that moment, it didn’t matter, for I felt myself being poked in the back, and I awoke. My girlfriend Nadine often does this…

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