Chandler Parsons 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/20/2014)

Chandler walked into the locker room after the Rocket’s dominating win over the lowly Timberwolves. He was the only one there, as this was the VIP locker room, only for the best guys on the team. He sensuously took off his shirt, sweat dripping from his perfect muscles. His shorts went next, leaving him clad…

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Matthew Dellavedova 11 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (3/20/2014)

“Oy! I just put some shrimp on the barbie!” yelled Spencer Hawes as he dug into the shrimp that came with his gigantic steaks. The rest of the team laughed as Spencer ate without regard for cleanliness or manners, except for Matthew Dellavedova, who sat sullenly without food in front of him. “Hey, Delly, Outback…

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Al-Farouq Aminu 19 Points/10 Rebounds Full Highlights (3/19/2014)

Al-Farouq Aminu was on his way to the locker room when a voice issued forth from a dumpster. “Psst, Al-Farouq! Get in here!” Startled, Al-Farouq looked into the bin to find Anthony Davis huddled in the bottom. “Man, I don’t know if we’re both going to fit in there. You look kinda cramped already,” Al-Farouq…

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Reggie Bullock Career High 14 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2014)

Reggie Bullock belatedly celebrated Blake Griffin’s birthday with the rest of the team in Blake’s lavishly-appointed living room. Eating a slice of cake, he wondered if his teammates even knew that his own birthday fell on the same day. But even if they did, why would they care? He was just a rookie. He should…

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Drew Gooden 21 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

“Drew it was really great of you to suggest this as a team bonding exercise after tonight’s game.” Drew Gooden sat serenely, as if in a meditative state. He gave no indication that he heard except for the faint smile the crossed his lips. “But does it have to be so god damn hot in…

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Andrew Bynum 15 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

“Yo, when you said you were takin’ us to a new hot nightlife joint, I wasn’t expectin’ this.” Paul George looked gloomily out the window as Andrew Bynum’s fancy car pulled into the parking lot of the decidedly dilapidated-looking “Indy-Bowl”. “Shut up, I’m gonna show you guys the meaning of a good time tonight. Andrew…

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Ersan Ilyasova 22 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2014)

I entered the gymnasium with confidence, trying to appear as if I belonged there. The hustle and bustle of Bucks Media Day was the perfect cover for my devious plot. “Excuse me, Mr. Ilyasova, could I speak to you a moment?” I asked, grabbing Ersan’s arm. “It will really only take a second.” Ersan glanced…

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Amir Johnson 20 Points Full Highlights (3/12/2014)

Amir Johnson, cozy in his Snuggie, was again taking part in his favorite pastime: gauging the internet’s opinion of him. After watching an expertly-edited video entitled “Amir Johnson 22 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2014)”, he scrolled down to view the comments. He smiled as a fan of his had earnestly made a comment reading, “If his…

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Manu Ginobili 22 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2014)

Manu Ginobili lay on the chaise in his therapist’s office. The room was almost surreal in its typicality; bookshelves crammed with medical treatises lined the dark-stained walls, and a single window pointed out at a calm city street several blocks below. The therapist, too, was a stereotype; a man with a full head of gray…

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Darren Collison 20 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2014)

Darren Collison patiently fielded questions from reporters after the game. Most of the questions were astounding in their banality, the same questions that every player was asked after every game. Now, yet another no-name hack was asking him another one. “How do you feel about your four assists this game? Were you looking for your…

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