Marc Gasol 27 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/23/2018)

The giant, bearded man followed behind the gatekeeper, struggling to shorten his strides to match those of the much smaller man. “This King DTB of whom you speak must not be a very wise king, if he would allow a man such as myself into his realm unscrutinized,” he commented. The old gatekeeper shrugged. “He…

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Bojan Bogdanovic 20 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

“Dear Father, I apologize for filling your mailbox with more correspondence from your distraught son, but you are my only source of comfort in these trying times. Today, while playing in a game against the Hornets team from North Carolina (such an odd choice for a team’s name, but I cannot argue, for I play…

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Ed Davis 17 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

Scrolling down the Nets-Mavericks box-score, I am struck by an intriguing total: Ed Davis with seventeen points. Using my amazing powers of statistical recall, I quickly determine that seventeen is the most that Davis has scored in the past three seasons. A highlight video must be made at once. My eye darts to the left…

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Cedi Osman 21 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

Cedi Osman stood outside the door to the visitor’s locker room, arguing with the security personnel who guarded it. “I need to see LeBron,” he repeated, not wanting to sound like he was pleading but not being able to help it. “Yeah, you and everybody else,” said the portly, sunglasses-wearing man. Cedi pointed at his…

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Dennis Schröder 32 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

Walking the back halls of Oracle Arena, Dennis Schröder cleared his head before the game. It was always beneficial for his state of mind if he took some time away from his teammates and coaches. Underneath his jersey, he could feel the rough brown fabric of the Magic Lederhosen against his skin, and he took…

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Buddy Hield 25 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2018)

So today I went out to the local U-Haul and rented a moving truck for the day. The girl at the counter asked me what I was using it for and I didn’t want to tell her the truth (which would have taken a long time to tell, plus she wouldn’t even believe it) so…

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Nikola Vucevic 28 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2018)

Nikola Vucevic shifted nervously on his feet. “You sure you’ve got the plan?” The scantily-clad escort that he had hired for the occasion continued looking annoyed. “Yeah, I’ve got it. You do realize, however, that getting punched in the face falls significantly outside the range of services I typically offer to my clients.” Now it…

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Buddy Hield 23 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2018)

My twelve-foot-tall purple plastic 3D-printed naked statue of Buddy Hield, as I’ve mentioned previously, has really been into goats lately. The better part of the last month, he’s occupied his days by using my laptop to watch videos of goats on YouTube. So I started making plans to take him to the zoo in the…

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D.J. Augustin 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/17/2018)

D.J. Augustin opened his eyes and knew immediately that something was wrong. His surroundings were completely unfamiliar, and a man wearing a mask and robe was standing above him. His form was illuminated dimly by flickering candles which ringed the stone dais upon which D.J. lay. “You were not supposed to awaken,” the man said…

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Bojan Bogdanovic 22 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2018)

“Dear Father, I hope this correspondence finds you well, but maybe it won’t, because I think I saw your face in a news report showing the recent protests in Mostar. Remember, the head that sticks out farthest is the one that gets chopped off first. You taught me that so many years ago, and that…

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