Draymond Green Career High 16 Points/10 Rebounds Full Highlights (5/2/2013)

“911, what is your emergency?” Draymond almost couldn’t hold in his laughter. “Yo lady, we got a fire here at Oracle Arena, send some firemen down here quick!” “Okay sir, could I have your name?” “Yeah, It’s Draymond.” His teammates were gathered around, giggling. “Okay Draymond, before we send a crew down there, tell me…

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Klay Thompson 19 Points Full Highlights (4/30/2013)

“Hey Steph, you know, this doesn’t seem like a great idea.” “Shut up Klay. I can’t remember who broke the NBA record for made threes this year, maybe you could remind me?” “You did. That doesn’t change the fact that this is a bad idea, even by your standards. My hieroglyph-parsing skills are diminished since…

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Kyle Korver 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/29/2013)

“Dear Ashton Kutcher, My name is Abby and I am your biggest fan. I even started a fan club at my middle school! My email address is abbyheartsashton@hotmail.com in case you want to chat some more! XOXO -Abby” Kyle Korver crumpled up the misguided fan mail and lobbed it into his recycling bin. “When will…

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Darius Morris Career High 24 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/26/2013)

Darius ran frantically through the twisting halls of the Staples Center, searching in vain for his favorite teammate. “Kobe! Kobe Bryant! Where are you, man?” He paused and looked inside a trash receptacle. Not finding Kobe within, he got on his hands and knees and looked under a nearby bench. “Damn, he’s not here either!…

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Patrick Beverley 16 Points/12 Rebounds/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/24/2013)

Patrick Beverley. I know you’re reading this, you know you’re reading this, let’s get that out of the way early. DownToBuck is running a little low on funds and he needs some help from his friends in the NBA. You’re my friend, right, Patrick? Yeah. We’re bros. Just float me a few thousand bucks and…

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JR Smith 19 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2013)

“JR, man, why do you have to smoke it in that ugly thing? You look like an idiot.” “Hey, Cope, don’t talk about this pipe like that. This is a hand-me-down from my ancestors. It’s been in the Smith family for generations. And besides, I think it makes me look pretty damn classy. And everyone…

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DeMarcus Cousins 36 Points/Career High 22 Rebounds Full Highlights (4/17/2013)

Standing under the scalding water, DeMarcus cleaned himself ponderously. Thoughts were frenziedly hurrying in and out of his brain. Had he just played his last game in Sacramento? Would he like Seattle? Would that cute cheerleader Kelsee continue to cheer for the team, or would he have to leave her behind? He closed his eyes,…

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Gerald Henderson 27 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/15/2013)

The battle raged for hours. The heroic Pictish forces of Fortriu, summoned quickly after the dragon had made its first appearance, were having no luck in piercing through its heavily-scaled body, and hope was diminishing rapidly. King Hendo surveiled the situation from his place upon his throne of gold. His loyal army, while brave and…

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Mirza Teletovic Career High 14 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2013)

“Cryostation 3. This is Shengelia at cryostation 2.Come in cryostation 3.” “This is Teletovic at cryostation 3. What seems to be the problem?” “We’ve had an accident with one of the cryo-chambers. I say accident, but the evidence indicates malicious intent.” “Well, what went wrong?” “One of the cryo-chambers was found broken and leaking. It…

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Courtney Lee 20 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (4/13/2013)

feel bad for any player who had to play on that god-awful 09-10 Nets team. And Courtney Lee was actually the third-best player on that squad, which means he shoulders more of the shame than scrubs like Eddie Najera and Josh Boone. That must have been the most profoundly disheartening experience in Courtney’s life. Except……

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