Pero Antic Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2014)

Pero Antic walked up to the Hawk’s practice facility on the first day of training camp, eager to make a good impression. He opened the door, and walked towards the gym, encountering Jeff Teague. He smiled warmly and extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Pero Antic, your new teammate.” Jeff smiled and shook the offered hand….

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Patrick Patterson 17 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2014)

“Hey Internet, This is my first blog post ever. I don’t really know what I’m going to write, but I promise it will be interesting. Toronto weather is pretty crummy this time of year so there’s not much else to do other than compose lengthy dissertations on topics that interest me. LOL I promise it…

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Chris Bosh 25 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (1/18/2014)

One of the common online tropes for Chris Bosh is that he is secretly a dinosaur. Posting pictures of NBA players as kids? Here’s a picture of that raptor-hatching scene from Jurassic Park. Talking about the oldest players ever to play professionally? Bring up the fact that Chris Bosh is 65 million years old. These…

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Shane Larkin Career High 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)

“Hey, rook, we got a few questions for you.” It was Vince Carter and Sam Dalembert. Shane answered warily, “Yeah, sure. But this isn’t going to end with me dancing the Macarena naked in the shower with everybody filming me, is it? I still remember when you made Gal ask strangers on the street for…

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Samuel Dalembert 20 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)

If you guys want a hint on how to get a start working in the NBA, I’ve got one: apply to be a player’s personal assistant. Nobody wants to take care of these grown-up-yet-still-children players. When my man Fatty D put out an ad for someone to cook and clean for him, I applied immediately….

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Brandon Knight 26 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/15/2014)

Brandon approached the two chattering cheerleaders as soon as the final buzzer sounded. “Hey, girls, I need a really big favor.” Sarrah and Monique looked over at the player whose made baskets they regularly celebrated during games. After exchanging a glance, Sarrah said, “Sure, Brandon, what’s up?” Brandon looked over to where Kaytee, the target…

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Greg Oden 6 Points/2 Dunks Heat Debut Full Highlights (1/15/2014)

Greg Oden looked warily down at the ground two stories below him. He and Brandon Roy stood on the roof of Oden’s fancy suburban house, with Oden himself holding a pogo stick. “Yo, Brandon, you sure this is a good idea? Cause it doesn’t feel like a good idea to me.” “Stop being a wimp,…

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Jodie Meeks 26 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/14/2014)

Kobe approached his teammate Jodie in the locker room. They were the only two present. “You ready, man?” Jodie nodded solemnly, retrieving the sledgehammer from his locker. “I guess. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” Patting Jodie chummily on the shoulder, Kobe said, “It’s gotta happen, man. I’m not going to be…

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Avery Bradley 25 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2014)

Working intently with his fellow five-year-olds, Avery colored in his drawing. It was a badass rendition of Michael Jordan with his championship trophies. “Avery, can I have the box of crayons? I need the red.” asked his classmate Alex. “I’m not done with the red. You can have it when I’m done,” Avery answered, not…

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Channing Frye 22 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/8/2014)

I already detailed in a previous description how Channing Frye’s heart was cruelly stepped upon by a heartless wench named Clara, and how the succubus herself contributed to Channing’s health issues. But that doesn’t explain the sudden flareup of heart troubles that he experienced before the 2012-2013 season, troubles that kept him relegated to the…

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