Amir Johnson 17 Points Full Highlights (12/22/2013)

Amir Johnson is yet another player who has added a three point shot to his game. This is the new NBA. Everyone shoots threes. They’re efficient. To be a good player, you must shoot them. Luckily it seems to be mainly corner threes for now. It seems like he’s always been shooting the long two,…

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Jonas Valanciunas 18 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2013)

It was a hard practice. Jonas Valanciunas was feeling the effects of the last set of sprints. Practicing some post moves against Amir Johnson, he became more and more lethargic, until he collapsed on the hardwood, clutching his chest. The assistant coaches ran over to where Jonas lay, writhing. “Jonas, what’s wrong?” “I…can’t…breathe! I feel…like…

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Terrence Ross 24 Points Full Highlights (12/13/2013)

Landry Fields sidled up to Terrence Ross after the Raptors’ victory against the 76ers. “Wanna see your stats?” “Landry, you know statsheets aren’t allowed in the locker room. We could get in real big trouble, man, if anybody knew you had a box score or two in your pockets.” “No one will have to know….

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Jonas Valanciunas 18 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2013)

I sometimes feel like the Toronto Raptors fanbase as a whole is pinning too many of its hopes on the play of Jonas Valanciunas. He’s not even that good, really. He’s firmly in the realm of “okay”. But Raptors fans were sure that he was going to be an All-Star this year, and elevate their…

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Quincy Acy Career High 13 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (4/6/2013)

Quincy “Q & A” Acy is not a three point shooter. He took a grand total of 7 in his college career, and had not taken any so far in his NBA career. Until tonight. It wasn’t even a heave and the end of the shot-clock. Just a normal corner three in the flow of…

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Jonas Valanciunas 18 Points Full Highlights (3/20/2013)

Jonas Valanciunas is a Euro center. But unlike most European players, he isn’t a softie. I like that. Actually, the Euro = soft thing is totally wrong. It only really applies to Pau Gasol. Anyway, Jonas has been having an okay rookie season with the Raptors. I don’t think he’s lived up to the expectations…

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Amir Johnson 17 Points/16 Rebounds Full Highlights (3/10/2013)

Amir Johnson is the Raptors’ best player. You might think I am joking. I am not. He may not be the flashiest offensive player like DeRozan or Gay, but he, unlike them, knows his limits and is efficient. He’s as solid as they come, plays good defense and rebounds well. The only knock on him…

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Kyle Lowry Triple Double (10 pts/10 rebs/10 asts) Full Highlights (3/2/2013)

Ten points. Ten assists. Ten rebounds. Truly the worst triple-double possible. Who else has attained this embarrassing, shameful achievement? Only a few, and they all sucked: Penny Hardaway, Jason Kidd, and Andre Iguodala (twice). All horrible players who were certainly not all-star quality or even close. Only a moron would think that a triple-double of…

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Landry Fields 15 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2013)

The Internet is a dark, disturbing place. Full of horrible memes, crappy blogs and their corresponding comment sections, and bronies. But the worst of all is certainly the fanfiction involving Jeremy Lin and Landry Fields. Yeah, I know. Who writes that stuff? I don’t even want to think about it. I blame Google’s autocomplete. It…

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John Lucas 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (2/10/2013)

Is John Lucas a “veteran”? That’s a good question. He is thirty years old, which usually would qualify one for veteran status. But this is only his fifth year in the league. Is Michael Beasley a veteran? How about JaVale McGee? Of course those guys aren’t veterans. They can barely lace up their sneakers without…

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