Tyreke Evans 27 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)

I shouldn’t have to say this, but I know I have to. If anyone comments anything to the effect of “The occasion when you ejaculate but she continues performing fellatio”, referencing the thumbnail image for this Tyreke Evans highlight video, they will be met with a permanent ban from the entire Internet. I’ve been talking…

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Tyreke Evans 26 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

I was thinking while making this vid about how hyped I would be if it was Jawun Evans scoring these 26 points instead of Tyreke Evans. Based on what I know about me, which is a lot, I’m pretty sure I would be inconsolably hyped. I don’t even really know who Jawun Evans is but…

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Tyreke Evans 32 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2017)

Maybe it’s best for Tyreke Evans if he forgets about the whole “acknowledging your teammates by passing them the ball” thing. It worked for Rubio tonight, it can definitely work for Evans for the rest of his career. A ball-handly player like him will always end up with a few assists almost by accident, but…

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Tyreke Evans 26 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2017)

“I ain’t goin’ back there. Nope. No way,” Tyreke Evans told his agent over the phone. “Tell ’em I refuse to report.” His agent sighed. “I’m afraid you don’t have that kind of clout, Tyreke.” Tyreke would not be shaken from his position. “I don’t care. I’m not playin’ in Sacramento again. You know how…

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Tyreke Evans 29 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2017)

Good news for Pelicans fans: Tyreke Evans is alive! Not only alive, but alive just in time to counteract the untimely death of Anthony Davis. He had been alive for a few games before this one, but at varying levels. Some nights, he would look positively full of vigor, and other nights he would look…

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Tyreke Evans 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/10/2016)

It’s blowing my mind that the Pelicans are as bad as they are. I feel really dumb right now for pegging them as a dark horse candidate for the WCF or maybe even the Finals themselves. Since somebody must apportion the blame for their suckitude, I have appointed myself official blame apportioner. I unsheathe my…

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Tyreke Evans 27 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2016)

How about that! Tyreke Evans has officially become a good three-point shooter after ranging from mediocre in some seasons to outright terrible in other seasons. Given those fluctuations in his shooting numbers, I’m not totally convinced that he will continue to shoot the three as well as he has so far, or that he will…

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Tyreke Evans 27 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/11/2015)

Tyreke Evans was the man who robbed Stephen Curry of his rightful Rookie of the Year award. The voters were too blinded by his raw stats to even notice a burgeoning beast in Golden State. This mistake can not be rectified; Tyreke’s name will forever be etched in the runestone of ROY winners, immutable. There…

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Tyreke Evans 25 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2015)

Again, my phone rings. This time, I know exactly who it is, as this customer has been assigned a special ringtone: Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”. I put the finishing touches on a new video description, then give in to the phone’s pleas to be answered. “Hello, Mr. Evans. I was wondering when I…

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Tyreke Evans 24 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (1/25/2015)

My phone rings, playing the generic “Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangster” ringtone that it defaults to when it doesn’t find the caller in my contact list. Busy with some clip editing, I let it ring for ten seconds before answering. “DownToBuck speaking. Make it quick.” “It’s Tyreke. You gonna make a video…

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