Royce O’Neale 17 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2019)

Royce “Shaqueale” O’Neale, after this four-for-four performance, is now shooting 43 percent from three this season. Let’s ignore the fact that he got totally snubbed for three-point shootout (NBA always dicking small-market teams, SMH) and instead try to be positive. Positivity incoming: -43 percent is really good -He acts as a nice complementary guard to…

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Joe Ingles 15 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (2/6/2019)

OFFICIAL DTB REMINDER to Australian viewers of my videos: there is a constitutional mandate in your home country of Australia which requires you to watch at least one (1) Joe Ingles highlight video for day. Even on days when Joe Ingles has not played a game. You have to go on YouTube (or another video-sharing…

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Joe Ingles 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/1/2019)

Here’s a thought experiment for you: is it possibly to like Joe Ingles as a player, but not have that fondness tainted by ironic undertones? I would posit that it is not possible to unironically like Joe Ingles. Due to his physical profile, any positive feelings felt towards him will be biased by his flabby…

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Ricky Rubio 22 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (2/1/2019)

I feel like there’s gotta be some way to figure out what the most fruitful assist-to-shooter connections in the league are. However, after spending ten minutes using all the tools at my disposal (basketball-reference and stats.nba.com), I couldn’t figure out a way to do it. All I wanna know is how the Ricky Rubio-Rudy Gobert…

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Royce O’Neale 16 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)

It’s no coincidence that the Jazz have won all their games since Royce “Shaqueale” O’Neale was inserted into the starting lineup. Actually, I’m pretty sure it is a coincidence, because there’s no way that O’Neale, with his sporadic scoring and general wallflower-ness, is impacting the game in such a large fashion that he is causing…

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Jae Crowder 23 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2019)

People of the future (of which there will be millions, if not billions) will look back on Jae Crowder’s decade-plus-long career and wonder how the heck he scored 14 points per game for a good team (the Celtics) two years in a row. Already, it feels kind of weird, like it never actually happened, and…

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Kyle Korver 19 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2019)

I’m temporarily suspending my rule of “no more highlights when the next day’s games have started” because A.) there are still a bunch of vids to do and B.) The game that’s currently in progress is being played in London, and I still don’t understand how time zones work. Seriously, if anyone can explain to…

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Kyle Korver 19 Points Full Highlights (1/14/2019)

While I was struggling to come up with material for this description, I had a brainwave which I believe may change the face of basketball commentary…forever. I am literally trembling as I attempt to type words coherent enough to portray my vision. We can call a Kyle Korver three-pointer a “Korveball”. I’ll stop there for…

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Kyle Korver 16 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2019)

Sucks to be Jason Terry. He came into the week number three (which is basically a bronze medal) all-time in three-pointers made over an NBA career at 2282, and he exits the week number five (a medal that says “you suck rod”). Stephen Curry passed him a few games ago, and now Kyle Korver has…

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Royce O’Neale 17 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2019)

Royce “John Salmons 2.0” O’Neale had two games of this caliber in the playoffs last year. All the way back in early May, if you can remember back that far. He was even the leading scorer for the Jazz in one of them (the Jazz did not win that game against the Rockets). Those were…

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