Joe Ingles Career High 27 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (10/19/2018)

Joe Ingles stood underneath the water of the shower, not making any effort to clean himself, but just standing there with his eyes closed. The water temperature was already as high as it would go, but he wanted it higher. He needed it higher. He craved the burning sensation on his sensitive white flesh. Not…

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Joe Ingles 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (10/17/2018)

Given how good the Jazz looked and how utterly inept the Kings looked in preseason action, I was estimating that this would be a 50-point blowout in Utah’s favor. It wasn’t. What happened tonight? The Kings are bad. They have nothing but bad players on their roster, don’t @ me. The Jazz were coming off…

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Donovan Mitchell All 187 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part II)

The grounds of the SpaceX launch site were quiet. For a place that contained billions of dollars worth of equipment and materials, Donovan was surprised that there didn’t seem to be any physical security presence outside the building – just cameras. “Aren’t you afraid someone is watching us?” he asked in a whisper, pointing up…

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Donovan Mitchell All 187 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part I)

Hours passed. Outside the abandoned house that Joe Ingles and Donovan Mitchell had sought refuge in, Elon Musk was ranting and raving, becoming more deranged with each passing minute. What started with simple pleas for Joe and his “boyfriend” to come out of hiding had turned into threats of injury or even death for both…

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Donovan Mitchell All 42 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)

Standing on the observation platform with the rest of the spectators, Donovan Mitchell watched the SpaceX launch with a despair that was completely at odds with the rest of the group’s jubilation. His teammate and friend Joe Ingles was in that spacecraft, a craft that was headed for Mars despite its occupant’s total lack of…

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Joe Ingles All 204 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Three-ilation Part II)

Joe followed behind Elon as they walked to other side of the rocket. The tour group was dispersing, but Donovan, after some uncertainty about where he should go, followed his teammate. “I’m serious, mate, I’m not trained for this,” Joe said. “This is seriously the first I’m finding out about my supposed trip to Mars.”…

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Joe Ingles All 204 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Three-ilation Part I)

Joe Ingles walked through the halls of the SpaceX launch facility with an expression of awe on his face. “How’d you know I wanted to tour this place, mate?” he whispered to his companion, trying to keep his voice low out of respect for the tour guide. Donovan Mitchell shrugged his shoulders. “Well, for starters,…

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Rudy Gobert All 149 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)

The rear porch of the estate was quiet, save for the light chirping of birds and the occasional sound of a glass being placed back on an end table. Rudy Gobert, his feet resting on an ottoman, silently pursed his lips as he perused basketball statistics on his phone. Occasionally, he would reach over and…

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Royce O’Neale 17 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2018)

It’s cool when teams just pick rando dudes off the top of the scrap heap of undrafted/Europe-bound players and they turn out to be valuable role-players right out of the gate. In case you missed it, Royce “John Salmons 2.0 with defense” O’Neale is one of those guys, and he just led the Jazz in…

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Donovan Mitchell 24 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (5/8/2018)

And so, the Utah Jazz season comes to an end. It was fun, everybody. I would be more emotional, but I keep thinking about how if the Jazz had kept Nate Wolters things would’ve been different, and that thought makes me upset. Things also would’ve been different if Donovan Mitchell had distributed his scoring more…

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