Jan Vesely 12 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2014)

I’ve been watching too many Wizards games for my own good. Why do I subject myself to it? Because anything seems good compared to watching the Bucks. Anyway, I’ve noticed that the Wizards are making a concerted effort to play Jan Vesely. He’s always looked good in Summer League, even hitting jumpers, and apparently he…

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Bradley Beal 21 Points Full Highlights (1/7/2014)

Bradley Beal heard a knock at his door. He looked up from the letter he was penning in surprise. “Who could my visitor be? I am not anticipating the company of any of my friends. Perhaps it is that beggar Vesely, beseeching me for scraps from my table. What a detestable fellow that man is.”…

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Martell Webster 30 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/16/2013)

Type “Martell Webster” into the YouTube search box and the first thing it suggests for you is “Martell Webster dunk instead of 3”. This is a travesty. Yeah, it was a stupid play, but the past is the past. W-Mart is a totally different player now. One could even posit that he has fulfilled the…

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Kevin Seraphin 16 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2013)

The Wizards have pretty much given up playing Kevin Seraphin. Who can blame them? He’s a chucker who doesn’t draw fouls. He doesn’t pass the ball. He doesn’t play defense but somehow fouls a lot anyway. His one positive attribute, his scoring ability, is not even that good. Keep in mind that I am in…

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Trevor Booker 24 Points/14 Rebounds Full Highlights (12/13/2013)

Trevor Booker was fuming. So close to the win, only to have in snatched from his fingertips! The injustice of it was absolutely maddening. Sitting in the locker room post-game, he scowled at the floor, consumed with dark thoughts. Glen Rice approached him. “Hey Book, you wanna-” He was cut off by the intense hate…

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Trevor Ariza 27 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2013)

“Hey, Trevor, excited for the new XBox that’s coming out? I already got my preorder in.” “Naw man, I’m holding out for the PS4. I hear it’s gonna be tight. Graphics so good they’ll make your mind explode. While you’re playing with your little kiddy console in 720p I’m gonna be quickscoping noobs in glorious…

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Bradley Beal Career High 34 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/10/2013)

Pop quiz time! First question: Bradley Beal is a: a.) Bust Man b.) Beast Man c.) Best Man d.) Blest Man If you answered B, you’re correct. If you answered C or D, well, you’re kind a correct but obviously the truly right answer was B. And if you answered A than you should consider…

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Nene 20 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2013)

Official NBA players named after birds power rankings: 1. Nene 2. Rory Sparrow 3. Robin Lopez 4. Brian Cardinal 5. Guy Sparrow 6. Robin Jones 7. Mark Crow Not a very long list, though I’m sure I missed some. And no, Larry Bird doesn’t count. Neither does Otis Birdsong. Don’t be stupid.

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Bradley Beal Career High 29 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (11/8/2013)

The Wizards are yet another example of why getting tons of high picks doesn’t always lead to championships. Or playoff appearances. Or winning records. I know it takes time, which they have in spades, but it also takes good management, something they are sorely lacking. Or you could just blame Jan Vesely. That guy sucks….

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Marcin Gortat 19 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2013)

How often do you think Gortat gets propositioned by chicks with the line “I want some Polish sausage”? Weekly? Daily? 10 times before he even walks into the club? It must have happened at least one time. Variants such as “I’m dying for your juicy kielbasa right now” and “I hear the Poles have the…

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