Trey Burke 27 Points Full Highlights (4/12/2017)

Trey “Treyburkulosis” Burke has been one of the most bench-buried players in the league this season. He was, at the beginning of the season, getting some amount of backup PG minutes, maybe not as many as a player of his caliber (or at least draft pedigree) should have been getting, but some. Then the Wizards…

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Bojan Bogdanovic 20 Points Full Highlights (4/2/2017)

Bojan Bogdanovic has been in a bit of a slump recently. For those not in the know, slumps (among other things, like boils) are what happen when you don’t make enough sacrifices to Perun. With the playoffs right around the corner, now seems like a bad time to be pissing off the head of Slavic…

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Kelly Oubre 16 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2017)

Will Kelly Oubre ever score over 20 points? With the amount of field goals he gets to attempt, the answer is “not any time soon”. Playing next to high-usage players like John Wall and Bradley Beal can be good for young players since it means they don’t have to shoot too many shots, but it…

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Brandon Jennings 18 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (3/24/2017)

Brandon Jennings has been a pass-first, pass-second, and pass-third PG for the Wizards since getting signed by them. 5 assists in 14 minutes per game is pretty sick. Sick in the opposite way is his shooting percentages during the same stretch, which are so awful that I’m not even gonna type them here. You have…

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Jason Smith 17 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)

This wasn’t actually a great game from Jason “Help I’m balding” Smith, who shot 6-of-15 from the field and doubtlessly prevented John Wall from getting even more assists than he already had. However, he did get the much-sought-after “scrub by five” by getting at least two of each main statistical category. The Big Bald Spot…

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Ian Mahinmi 16 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)

Pretty much the only way Ian Mahinmi will ever EVER be worth his contract is if he averages this many points per game until he’s 34 years old, which is when his contract finally ends. However, he will need to average more than the three rebounds he grabbed in this game, unless he’s having the…

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Otto Porter 22 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2017)

When Bojan Bogdanovic got traded to the Wizards he immediately began to sap away the three-point shooting powers that rightfully belonged to Otto Porter. It couldn’t be more obvious to anybody who’s paying attention to the Wizards right now. Stealing away Porter’s powers through devious, possibly occult sorcery is a very mean thing for Bogdanovic…

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Jason Smith 17 Points/1 Fight Full Highlights (3/7/2017)

So what if Jason “Help I’m Balding” Smith leaned into that screen a little bit? Players do that all the time, and it’s not his fault that Tyler Ulis is 5’9″, that’s all on Ulis. It’s not like he tackled him like he tackled Blake Griffin that one time; Ulis would be dead if Smith…

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Ian Mahinmi 15 Points/7 Steals Full Highlights (3/7/2017)

The Wizards paid Ian “Iannis Mahintokounmpo” Mahinmi a lot of money during the offseason. 60 million over 4 years, on the basis of a couple middling season with the Pacers. Maybe you could upgrade his last one with them to be “solid”. I certainly did a lot of vids of him that year, vids that…

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Bojan Bogdanovic 29 Points/16 Free Throws Full Highlights (3/7/2017)

Normally I would complain about having to show so many free-throws. My opinion of those things is well known, and I won’t repeat it. However, tonight, things are different. The sheer amount of free-throws (without a miss, don’t forget) that Bojan Bogdanovic made have converted them from useless video-filler to the main attraction. The video…

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