Otto Porter 15 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2015)

Have you ever wondered which Washington Wizards players correspond to which Rocket Power characters? No? Well, I’ve planted the idea in your head now so you will definitely find the following list illuminating. Otto Porter = Otto Rocket Drew Gooden = Twister Kevin Seraphin = Reggie Rocket Marcin Gortat = Squid Randy Wittman = Raymundo…

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Otto Porter 19 Points Full Highlights (2/27/2015)

The highlight maker’s quandary: do I watch my team (extra credit to however can figure out which one it is), or make highlights for my legions of adoring fans? Factors to consider: I want to see Michael Carter-Williams play, there were 14 games tonight and lots of highlights to do, and is it even possible…

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Paul Pierce 19 Points Full Highlights (2/5/2015)

How much longer can this old dude possibly go on? I thought Pierce was starting to look a little done when he was with Brooklyn, but that could have been a product of being surrounded by done Kevin Garnett, done Joe Johnson, and done Deron Williams. Now he looks like his old self, except that…

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Bradley Beal 26 Points Full Highlights (1/31/2015)

“Marcin, can you do me a favor?” asked Bradley Beal, putting on his coat in preparation for a night carousing about town. “What’s that?” “If we see Denise at any of the clubs that we visit, could you be a bro and not say anything to her? I know you keep ribbing me about how…

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Kris Humphries 21 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2015)

Andre Miller had stayed late signing autographs. When he got to the locker room, there was nobody there. He sat down in his locker to start taking off his shoes. Since there was nobody to talk to, he instead looked around idly at his surroundings. The locker next to his, which was Kris’, was fully…

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Paul Pierce 19 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2015)

Is Paul Pierce the biggest bust of all time? I mean, with the tenth pick in the draft, you kinda want more than just an average role player. You want somebody who can elevate your team to a championship, somebody who can be a ten-time All Star. Not this scrub sandwich. The Celtics absolutely screwed…

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Nene 20 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2015)

“Marcin, do you ever think about…getting old?” Marcin Gortat looked over to where Nene was studying his reflection in the mirror. “Sometimes. Why you ask?” Nene pulled at his beard and shook his head. “I’m getting gray hairs on my face, man. I’m not ready to get old. I’m not ready to die.” “I think…

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Kevin Seraphin 17 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2015)

There’s some stuff going on in France right now, so I understand if this video maybe doesn’t get the views it should, given that it depicts a French player scoring points in the NBA. That’s okay. This video will still be here whenever the French feel up to watching it.

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Kevin Seraphin 13 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/11/2015)

Kevin Seraphin has reached heights of shooting efficiency unseen since his sophomore campaign. However, he has gotten worse at fouling and worse at blocking shots, so even if he has good basket-protecting ability, he’s not going to get that many minutes. This is bad news for him because he needs those minutes to up the…

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Kris Humphries 18 Points Full Highlights (12/27/2014)

John Wall and Bradley Beal were giggling like schoolchildren. “This is too mean. Too mean! Which means we had to do it.” Bradley said through laughter. “We really didn’t have a choice, I agree. How do I look?” his teammate responded, looking at himself in the locker room mirror. John Wall was dressed in a…

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