If Eric Gordon were a tree, what kind of tree would he be? I say oak, because oak trees are really good at shooting long, contested two-pointers. Wait, that’s just Eric Gordon. Let me think…is there any type of tree that’s good at shooting with a hand in its face? Or maybe there’s some kind of tree that pretends to be injured so they get traded to a better situation than the Hornets? I guess not. So, in conclusion, if Eric Gordon were a tree, he would not be a tree, since there are no trees that share any meaningful characteristics with Eric Gordon.
But, Austin Rivers is definitely a pine tree, because pine trees just really suck at basketball.