Rodney Stuckey 25 Points Full Highlights (3/31/2013)

Rodney Stuckey is not an April Fool’s Day fan. A chronological list of all the biggest fools perpetrated upon him:

Age 5: Cereal bowl glued to table
Age 6: Told by his parents that he is adopted
Age 8: His crush Cindy asks to talk with him behind the school’s tool shed, then hands him a note that says “I hate your guts”
Age 9: Cindy deploys the same tactics, but instead of a note, she just kicks him in the balls instead
Age 11: Middle school holds a pep rally for their successful boy’s basketball team; at the rally, it is announced that Rodney is the team’s LVP (least valuable player)
Age 13: Sister saran-wraps him to his bed for three days, leaving him to languish in a pool of his own offal
Age 18: On a class trip to the Space Needle in Seattle, his best friend pushes him off the observation deck, leaving Rodney in a coma for six months
Age 21: Jesus Christ comes to him in a vision and beckons Rodney to follow him. Rodney does, but Jesus soon reveals himself to be Satan, who captures Rodney and takes him to hell. Rodney endures 666 years of unendurable anguish in Satan’s damned pits of torment, but only three minutes pass in “real” time
Age 25: Tayshaun Prince puts a fake spider on his face while he’s sleeping

Don’t worry Rodney! There is nothing funny about this video. It is just a normal, everyday highlight compilation. You have suffered enough.

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