Here’s a list of things you didn’t know about Francisco Garcia:
-He is probably Mexican
-Wait, he’s from the Dominican Republic
-But he looks Mexican
-When he was traded away from the Kings, he cried tears of joy
-When he’s guarding Durant, Durant can’t score
-He has ice in his veins
-But not really, since that would shred your blood vessels pretty quickly
-He’s better from the three-zone than Harden, but if he took any of the stupid transition threes that Harden takes, he would be benched instantly
-Once scored 18 points in the NBA playoffs
I want to include some stuff about his girlfriend but, even with my black belt in Google-fu, I can’t determine exactly whether he has a girlfriend and whether she is really smokin’. For the sake of this description I’m going to just assume that he has a really hot girlfriend, since it’s true for pretty much any athlete.
-Is in possession of an exceedingly hot girlfriend