Landry Fields sidled up to Terrence Ross after the Raptors’ victory against the 76ers.
“Wanna see your stats?”
“Landry, you know statsheets aren’t allowed in the locker room. We could get in real big trouble, man, if anybody knew you had a box score or two in your pockets.”
“No one will have to know. I’ll give you a little sample, a taste of the full range of my services. You were 4 of 7 from three tonight.”
“I told you, no! The front office will trade me like they did Aaron when they saw him looking at his DNPs on the box scores after games.”
DeMar Derozan walked over to the pair huddled in the corner of the locker room.
“Hey, I overhead your little conversation. You know, Rudy was the one who implemented the ban. Now that he’s gone you guys are free to admire your stats, or lack of stats for Landry, in peace, without fear of reprisal.”
“Damn DeMar, I didn’t know it was Rudy who banned those things. Of course he would; his stats were putrid.” Terrence then adopted a high-pitched falsetto.
“Oh look at me! I’m Rudy Gay! Watch as I chuck us out of another game and look off Jonas for the 100th time! I’m a franchise player! Oops! Another three bricked! Oh well, I’ll just try again the next five times down the court!”
Landry was laughing, but DeMar looked stern.
“Come on now, let’s not be mean. With Rudy gone I think we can finally have a cohesive team. We shall not rub salt in the wounds of the past, but instead walk together towards a glorious future with ball movement.”