Gerald Green 22 Points/6 Threes/0 Dunks Full Highlights (12/23/2013)

Eric Bledsoe looked at his teammate skeptically. “You sure this thing’s safe? I don’t want to get blown up or nothing.” The contraption in Gerald Green’s hands certainly didn’t exude safety; it was basically a ball of wires and circuit boards, with a few analog radio knobs on the side.

“I told you already Eric, I’ve been reading up on Wikipedia, and all the theory points to time travel being possible with a light-bending device such as this. In fact, I already tested it by going back ten minutes into the past. We’ve actually already had this conversation.”

“Seriously? Wow!”

Gerald laughed. “Well, no. I haven’t technically tested this thing yet. But it should definitely work. I’ve already got it set to the time and place we want to visit.”

“Where’s that?”

“Israel, December 25, in the year 27 A.D. We’re going to meet our maker. Literally.”
“Gerald, everybody is looking at us funny! We should have planned this out better.”

Looking down at his basketball shorts and t-shirt, then up at the tunic-clad middle-easterners around him, Gerald responded, “I think we blend in pretty well.”

Eric was not comforted. “I keep getting the feeling like we’re inflicting irreparable damage upon the universal timeline. Who knows what will happen when we alter the sequentiality of events that drives forward the force known as time?”

Gerald was not paying attention. He was approaching a stranger to ask him a question. “Excuse me, sir, do you know where we can locate the one they call Jesus Christ of Nazareth?”

The man, not understanding English, bustled away suspiciously with nary a response. Gerald realized his error immediately. “Dang! I don’t speak Hebrew! We’re just going to have to keep our eyes peeled.”

Eric noticed a large crowd down the street to their left. “What about that guy?” he asked, pointing in the direction of a long-haired, bearded man.

The two basketball players ran to join the throng, using their superior musculature to easily elbow their way to the front. Gerald walked straight up to The Savior and clapped him on the back. “Happy birthday and Merry Christmas, man. Wait, Christmas doesn’t exist yet! Well, happy birthday anyway. You wanna join me and Eric for some suds down at Joe’s Fermented Wine and Leavened Bread Warehouse?”

The Lord looked confused and said something in Hebrew. Eric nudged his teammate. “Dude, Jesus doesn’t know English either! If only we were Jewish, we could say something to him!”

Gerald took the time machine out from his oversized pocket. “What you’re saying is, we should go back to the present time, learn Hebrew, then come back and try again?”

Eric shrugged. “You’re putting words in my mouth, but sure.”

Fiddling with the knobs, Gerald correctly set the device while the assembled crowd watched with interest. Noticing their gaze, Gerald addressed them with a wave. “It was cool seeing you guys. We’ll be back soon!” With a warping of the air, they were gone.
Sullen, Eric sat down in the locker room. “Well, that was a bust. We met Jesus in the flesh, but couldn’t even ask him for wisdom or advice.”

Gerald was incredulous. “Are you kidding me? We just celebrated the first Christmas ever! Hell yeah!” He held his fist out for his teammate to bump.

Eric looked up, smiled, and received the bump. “Hell yeah.”

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