Ersan Ilyasova 29 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2014)

Brandon Knight walked serenely through the snow-covered fields of southeastern Wisconsin. What better way to spend an off day than in rural, idyllic beauty? No hangers-on to bother him out here. Just him and nature.

“Help me! Help me!”

Brandon Knight snapped out of his reverie at the sound of someone yelling. Curious, he walked toward what he thought was the source of the commotion. Suddenly, a huge hole opened up in front of him; a depression in the earth seemingly a hundred feet deep. At the bottom was Ersan Ilyasova. Knight looked at him curiously.

“Ers, man, what are you doing down there?”

“I don’t know what happen! But here I am! Do you know what’s going on?”

“No idea! Hold on…”

Brandon noticed a sign at the opposite edge of the hole. He circumnavigated the chasm and read aloud:

“You are standing at the location of Wisconsin’s biggest slump.”

“I’m in a slump? Oh no! That no good at all, no good!”

“Not just any slump, the biggest slump in Wisconsin! What an honor!”

“Now is no time for funny. You must help me get out!”

“Sorry bro, but I’m not really a point guard and can’t help you out of slumps. I look too much for my own shot to worry about my teammate’s struggles. I’ll go get Nate.”

And with that he walked off. Ersan looked angrily at the circle of sky above where Knight’s head used to be, then returned to staring at the earthen walls of his prison. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a ladder to ground level appeared, along with a sign. It read “Toronto Raptor’s lackluster defense”.

“Hooray! I am saved from the slump! No thanks to that Brandon character. He never help me.”

He climbed out with the ladder receding behind him. As he reached the top, he noticed Khris Middleton falling past, screaming. Khris hit the bottom with a thud as Ersan stood at the lip of the slump.

“Khris, when you get out, could you bring my sunglasses? I forgot them down there. Thanks.”

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