“Hey, rook, we got a few questions for you.” It was Vince Carter and Sam Dalembert.
Shane answered warily, “Yeah, sure. But this isn’t going to end with me dancing the Macarena naked in the shower with everybody filming me, is it? I still remember when you made Gal ask strangers on the street for all their shekels.”
Vince shook his head. “That was Monta’s idea. He’s a bit of a nut sometimes,” he clarified. “No, what we were wondering is…” Vince paused as if trying to figure out the most appropriate wording for his query.
Sam took the lead. “We were wondering if you were black, or Mexican, or white?” he blurted. Vince nodded to the side, eyes wide with curiosity.
Not knowing whether to laugh or be offended, Shane didn’t answer immediately. “I think it’s pretty clear that I’m a black dude,” he finally answered.
“Noooooo way!” Vince yelled. “Sam here is a black dude. I’m a black dude. You look like a Mexican. Jose’s Mexican too. You look just like him.”
“I assure you, Vince, that I am just as black as you are, and that Jose is actually from Spain.”
Getting up close to Shane’s face, Sam said, “You kinda look like Jason Kidd, and he always be claiming he’s black, but he’s whiter than toilet paper. Shane could be telling the truth.”
Vince extended a tentative finger to stroke Shane’s hair. “You might be right, dude! It sorta feels like kinky black dude hair.”
Batting Vince’s probing hand away, Shane asked, “What if I told you that I wasn’t any race at all?”
Now both Sam and Vince looked at him with eyes as large as basketballs. “Dude, this is such a trip,” Vince remarked.
“It’s true,” Shane continued. “Race is only skin-deep. When you dig down further, you’ll find that we are all part of the same living, breathing humanity. In order to maximize our potential as a species, we must unite as one, dismantling the artificial barriers we have constructed to isolate ourselves from our fellow man.”
Vince and Sam exchanged a glance. “Yeah, dude. Cool plan. We gotta head out,” Sam said, showing obvious disinterest in Shane’s plan for a better world. As they walked away, Shane heard Vince say, “I still think he’s Mexican.”
[Sorry for the black spot in the middle, something got screwed up when rendering the video. All you’re missing is a replay of the and-one. I have brought shame and dishonor upon my family.]