Larry Sanders 14 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2014)

Just got back from the hospital.

I was in Milwaukee for business, and I decided that I wanted to pay a visit to my favorite Buck, Larry Sanders. But first I had to get my equipment. I dug through some recycling bins and found a bunch of empty wine bottles. Then I went to the local thrift store for some really Albanian looking clothes. I even dorked my hair up in the traditional Albanian way.

There’s a lot of houses in Milwaukee, but it was easy to find his, since there were some really sad and hungry looking dogs outside of it in the cold. I walked up to the door and rung the bell. A suit-clad Larry Sanders opened it. He looked confusedly at my odd outfit and the glass bottles in my hand. Then his gaze turned to rage as he yelled “It’s you again!”

He retreated back into his house, and then came out 15 seconds later with some champagne bottles of his own. We did battle on his icy footpath with his dogs barking in the background. He was slipping and sliding all over the place, but his large frame was too much for me. He landed a solid blow on my head, and I went down. He then took my own weapons and used them against me. That’s all I remember.

I woke up in the hospital and had to sneak out to avoid paying. I didn’t ask them to take me there. And DownToBuck don’t deal in no health insurance. I’m fine. I think I still got some glass shards embedded in my skin, but whatever.

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