Drew Gooden 21 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

“Drew it was really great of you to suggest this as a team bonding exercise after tonight’s game.”

Drew Gooden sat serenely, as if in a meditative state. He gave no indication that he heard except for the faint smile the crossed his lips.

“But does it have to be so god damn hot in here?”

John Wall and the rest of the Wizard’s team sat in the training center sauna, clad in nothing but towels. Gooden opened his eyes.

“It’s a sauna, John. They’re supposed to be hot.”

“I ain’t stupid. I know what saunas are. But it’s gotta be pushing 250 in here, dude, and Trevor doesn’t look like he’s having a good time.” The point guard gestured over to where Trevor sat slumped against the wall, seemingly unconscious.

“This is how we did it in Finland. I don’t about the rest of you, but I feel fine. Actually it could stand to be a bit warmer. How about I…” He stood up, aiming to go towards the heater, but was quickly shoved back down to the bench amidst loud and urgent protestations.

Bradley Beal spoke up. “You might call this a bonding experience but the only thing bonding here is my ass to this seat. You might have the blood of proud Finnish warriors running through your veins, granting you strength against adversity, but I sure as hell don’t. I’m outta here.”

“The deal was 10 minutes, Brad. I knew you weren’t Finnish, but I didn’t know you were a pussy.”

Beal sat back down, and silence regained its hold over the sauna. After a minute or so, someone began humming a tune.

Gooden looked annoyed. “Whoever is humming please stop! The sanctity of the traditional Finnish sauna ritual must not be disturbed!”

But the humming continued. Soon, words were added.

“It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.” Andre Miller’s voice switched to a higher register. “I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off!”

Soon, the entire team sans Gooden and Ariza were singing Nelly’s smash hit “Hot in Herre”.

Gooden stood up angrily. “If you guys aren’t gonna take this seriously then just consider yourselves uninvited to my traditional Finnish midsummer feast featuring my own dramatic reading of the Kalevala!” In a huff, he opened the door and left.

Andre Miller grinned. “What’s the matter? Doesn’t he like Nelly?

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