DeAndre Jordan 21 Points/15 Rebounds/6 Dunks Full Highlights (4/3/2014)

The crew were gathered in the main deck, eagerly awaiting the transmission to the holo-projector. Holoperator Urgorx 77-Q fiddled with the equipment.

Kronbub 32-C, the pilot of the craft, vibrated his caudal membranes in a show of impatience. “I don’t get why the humans don’t adhere to their posted start times. The contest was supposed to start at 564:23 Standard Virgonian Time and it’s already 572:12. It’s lucky that all my daily duties are completed and I have this time to waste, otherwise I would be tempted to show them the true power of this vessel.”

“Always with the talk. You know that even our advanced weaponry can do no damage to their planet at this great distance.” Zeeborg 56-A remarked with a infrared middle-finger added for emphasis.

“Shows how much you know, Zeeborg. At our last stop on Ulopholar, the council decided that we deserved an upgrade due to our good work in the interstellar vertical-leap enhancement program. I will not go into specifics, but I could reduce Earth and all its inhabitants into component atoms at the press of a button. And if you don’t issue a retraction of that gesture, your own home planet of Zeevelarat would be next.”

“Retraction issued, sorry sir. Urgorx, are you sure we’ll be able to view this contest? Last time you called us in here there was a “blackout”.

Porgon 18-F drew her radiation pistol and activated her 1st and 2nd ancillary appendages in a display of aggression. “Actually last time it was 2 Wurdons 1 Ek. Again. If this is a third repeat performance of that dreadful show than I will not hesitate to use this weapon. Shield your eyestalks, Zeeborg.”

Urgorx 77-Q was unfazed, flapping his cranial membrane once. “The transmission headers indicated that it would be a cute Earthcat video, my mistake. And as for the ‘blackouts’, it seems to be a system the humans use to geo-limit their transmissions. Certainly not the standard definition which involves the subjugation of a planetary population by use of black hole projectiles, but still a hassle. One would think that a spaceship situated in the Virgo cluster would be exempt from such restrictions. Ah! Here we go!”

The main deck went silent. They watched they Clippers-Mavericks game with a particular eyestalk on DeAndre Jordan. On the occasion of his first dunk, an impressive alley-oop from Blake Griffin, Porgon 18-F inflated her abdominal sac in happiness.

“How great it is to see our experiment perform at such a high level. Maybe it would be better if his intelligence were higher, but his athletic ability is undeniable. And look at the crowd! An abundance of the traditional signs of human happiness! What a shame that their doom has been assigned by the interstellar council.”

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