Travis Outlaw 24 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2014)

You sit at your computer, slumped down in the seat as you browse for the 5th time. In your hand is a can of Milwaukee’s Best. Your mom always told you 11 is too early to start drinking, but what did she know. She’s gone now. They’re all gone.

There is nothing on to ease your boredom. All-consuming lethargy hangs like a cloud over your life. You think about picking up your phone, maybe calling somebody. But after what you did, why would anyone hang out with you? Instead, you navigate your browser to Deadspin, hoping for some funny sports gifs depicting feats that, while always unobtainable, now present a startling realization of your own incredible sloth and immobility. But even this tiny joy is denied you, as they are too busy pontificating about perceived injustices.

Time for a break. With great effort, you extract yourself from your chair and head to the fridge while finishing up your beer. Opening the door, you look for another one, you could have sworn there was another one in here! Damnit Tracy! Where did it go? But Tracy has been out of your life for years. Beautiful Tracy. In anger you slam the door and return to the computer. The anger passes swiftly, replaced again by a dreary laziness. 15 minutes of staring blankly at the screen later, you direct your browser to YouTube.

There in your subscription box, is a new video. “Travis Outlaw 24 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2014)”. You hesitate only for the briefest of moments before clicking. You watch the video. It ends, but the tears continue. Where has your life gone so wrong that you have watched a Travis Outlaw highlight video?

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