Jamal Crawford 17 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2014)

The more I watch Jamal Crawford play, the more I want to hit him with my fists. He has a dumb-looking face. It’s kind of droopy and he has puffy cheeks that would make perfect punching bags. He’s also skinny enough that I feel like I could probably take him a fight.

I’m not an expert at arranging throwdowns. Are we supposed to fight on neutral ground? Do I have to go over to LA? I really don’t have the money to fly all the way there and back just to beat the snot out of some punk basketball player. Meanwhile, Jamal definitely has the money to drop on plane tickets to Wisconsin. Then we can meet up in the airport terminal and engage in some old-fashioned fisticuffs, and he can fly right back home.

Another matter to consider is how I’m supposed to alert him of the fight. Do I have to tweet it at him? Or make a phone call to his agent? I’ll just type it here for now:

Jamal Crawford, I’M CALLING YOU OUT.

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