Gerald Green 26 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/4/2014)

Gerald Green, dressed as a banana, walked into the costume party with dread. It was well-known that Miles Plumlee threw the best holiday-themed bashes, but the prospect of scores of hot girls walking around in “naughty nurse” costumes didn’t do much to brighten his mood. He hated Halloween. Why should the concept of hiding your true self behind a mask be celebrated with an entire holiday?

Bypassing a comically-oversized bowl of candy, Gerald got right to work on wooing some members of the opposite gender. His plan was to score a fine honey with a finer booty, whisk her away back to his place, and just forget that Halloween ever happened. He had even gone through the trouble of disconnecting his doorbell so that there would be no meddling kids to ruin his night of loving.

After an hour, things were going mostly as planned. In most social situations, Gerald had the decisive upper hand, being the only basketball player. At this party, where most of the Suns players had congregated, there was no such advantage, so Gerald had to rely on his natural game. Luckily, this game had been finely honed over several years, and he was a master at manipulating females.

Just as he had hooked the hottest girl at the party (by his estimation), in walked the notorious straggler Alex Len. Normally Gerald didn’t pay much attention to Alex at these gatherings, as he was not a threat to take women away from anybody, especially not Gerald. However, Alex had chosen an interesting costume: a bright-red basketball hoop and netting which he wore on his head.

Gerald couldn’t help it. He felt the urge overtake him before his rational, highly-evolved brain could warn him not to. He grabbed a decorative pumpkin off a nearby table and ran towards Alex at full speed. Just as Alex raised his hand in greeting, Gerald jumped through the air, and propelled the pumpkin right onto Alex’s head. The pumpkin exploded in a tasty shower of pulpy orange strands, and all conversation at the party ceased as they saw Alex’s unconscious body drop heavily to the floor.

Everybody was looking at him. He had to say something.

“Sorry everybody,” he apologized, shrugging. “I just have this need to dunk.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.