Kentavious Caldwell-Pope 20 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2014)

Walking proudly into the Pistons locker room, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope coughed loudly to announce his presence. “Sup guys.”

Most of the other Pistons didn’t even look up, but the few that did, stared. Kentavious was dressed in full papal regalia, triregnum perched on his head and the Pallium vestment adorning his body. In his hand he carried the papal ferula, topped with a crucifix.

“Nice costume KCP, but you know that Halloween was like two weeks ago, right?” D.J. Augustin commented, grinning at his teammate’s outfit.

“That’s not the way you should talk to the Pope, D.J.,” Kentavious responded, pointing his staff in warning.

D.J. laughed. “Yeah, the Pope, right. They gotta elect you and stuff. You can’t just be the Pope. Stop joking around and take that stuff off. We gotta get ready for the game.”

“Your insolence displeases God,” Kentavious announced. “And as the representation of God on this earth, it displeases me as well.”

Kyle Singler entered the conversation. “Man, you look funny! But coach is already on our asses for not taking basketball seriously enough. You’re not doing us any favors wearing that stupid robe.”

“Praedixi, Kyle. Et per sanctum in nomine Iesu, dives vocat delere tonitrui virtus!” Kentavious snarled, now pointing his staff towards the fair-complexioned small forward.

“Dude, he’s speaking in tongues! Bleblahblea glibglabblahblah!” Kyle mocked. His mirth was short-lived, however, as a bolt of pure electricity fired from the top of the crucifix and struck him in the exact center of his chest. The power from the blast knocked the triregnum right off Kentavious’ head. Now, he had the attention of the rest of his teammates.

“Candor est sicut furor Papae Kentavious flamma!” Kentavious yelled, now turning his Papal weapon towards D.J., who tried in vain to hide behind a folding chair. He, too, was electrocuted by Kentavious’ godly power, and the top of his head smoldered as he lay dead upon the carpeted floor.

As the very ground beneath them began to shake in violent tremors, Kentavious addressed the rest of his teammates.

“Bow before your new master! Bow before…Pope Kentavious!”

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