Jabari Parker 14 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)

Jabari Parker shivered, his stomach turning knots as he looked at the six remaining uncooked brats before him. He turned to see how the other insufficiently-clothed competitors were doing.

Damien Inglis, just having upchucked his portion of the “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity”, lay in the snow, curled up in a little ball and moaning. Giannis, on the other hand, was gamely putting down uncooked brats with ease; it looked like he only had two or three left. Nate Wolters, looking green, was just staring at his remaining portion, and Johnny O’Bryant looked to be suffering the early effects of hypothermia.

Zaza Pachulia and Ersan Ilyasova, who had orchestrated this team-building event, were occasionally shouting words of encouragement/mockery at the young Bucks.

“In native land, we happy for just one uncooked meat product, much less ten! You should be grateful!” Zaza chided into his megaphone.

Ersan Ilyasova concurred. “Yes, we not always have modern amenity like cooking, but we make do and not complain. Remember, no vomit or you lose!”

Jabari placed another brat into a bun and forced it into his unwilling mouth. “Just pretend you’re at Wrigley Field with pops, enjoying a game and having a hotdog. The sun is so bright, so warm, everyone is smiling, the Cubs are winning…” He thought to himself.

It didn’t help. No amount of fantasy could hide the fact that he was standing, in his underwear, outside the Bradley Center in the middle of winter, eating uncooked brats under the crude guise of team-building.

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