Since I’ve got a bunch of family members ’round my place for Thanksgiving (it’s an American holiday for all you heathens out there), I decided to utilize the poetic talents of my seven-year-old nephew Dylan in this description. He was tasked with writing a poem about Ray McCallum, and here it is, with spelling mistakes corrected:
“Ray McCallum is a basketball player
When he gets mad he listens to Slayer
Girls like him because he has money
He doesn’t have to be nice or smart or funny
Ray McCallum plays for the Kings
He doesn’t worry about people taking his things
I hate that loser John Meyer from school
He always steals my pencils, he’s a huge tool
I want to go out with Susie Hernandez
I think she’s pretty, but my dad says
You can’t date until you’re older
With each passing day my heart grows colder”
Dylan’s going to be so psyched when he sees this on YouTube.