Aron took a swig of his sixth Four Loko. “Henry, why don’t people want to Bayng Out with me on the Baynes Bus? If I were me, I’d drop everything to play Halo with Aron Baynes while chowing on some pepperoni egg rolls.”
Henry, the increasingly drunk organizer of the Baynes Bus, hiccuped before answering. “This is going to work. Bang Bus is raking in the cash, and I’d say that our idea is even better than their pandering, crass attempts at adult entertainment. We just need to hit the right areas of town.”
Just as drunk as his driver, Aron was not placated by this answer. “And you told me that Stuck Mojo was going to perform on the bus, yet we’ve been driving for ten hours, and we have yet to hear a single one of their songs from their pioneering rap-metal record ‘Snappin’ Necks’. I’m starting to think that maybe you never had them lined up to begin with.”
As a multi-colored strobe light ball cast dancing shapes on the walls of the otherwise dark bus, Henry drove in silence. Finally, he spoke up. “We’re heading down to the Riverwalk. That’s where all the action is.”
“You sure you want to go down there?” Aron questioned, sounding unsure. “The Baynes Bus was always about entertaining the real people of San Antonio, not picking up some hotshot executive types from the trendy bars. They’d probably just make fun of my wrestling posters.”
“Why don’t you get the pizza egg rolls ready and get out the Hot Wheels track. We’ll be there soon and we want to be ready when people start flocking to Bayng Out with you,” Henry said, squinting out the windshield. “Driving this thing is harder than it looks, man. I can’t see for crap out there. Where’s the headlight button?”
All of a sudden there was a crashing noise, and Aron was thrown to the floor. His world became a disoriented blur as the bus tumbled over and over, but the madness was over quickly, as he was knocked out cold by a Gamecube console that tumbled right onto his forehead.
When he came to, he noticed a wetness. He also felt a gentle bobbing sensation, as if he was floating on water. Opening his eyes against the darkness, he could see flashing emergency lights, and immediately realized that he, and his entire bus, was floating down the San Antonio River. Henry was nowhere to be seen.
“Who’s down for some Baynging?” Aron groaned before lapsing back into unconsciousness.