Everything about this Mavs team seems destined for success. It’s exactly the narrative that the NBA would have written if they were given free reign to do so. Tyson Chandler reunites with the player formerly known as Dirk Nowinski to again attain the magic that allowed them to win it all in 2011. They’ve even managed to replace all the key pieces from that team with new, better versions.
Jason Terry – Monta Ellis
Peja Stojakovic – Charlie Villanueva? (uh oh uh oh it’s already not working out as well as I thought it would INITIATE RECOVERY SEQUENCE)
Jason Kidd – Jameer Nelson
DeShawn Stevenson – Chandler Parsons, yeah, sure
JJ Barea – JJ Barea
Caron Butler – Nobody, but it doesn’t matter because C-Butt was injured for the whole playoffs. Maybe Raymond Felton because he’s injured and fat too.
Shawn Marion – We’ll just go with Al-Farouq Aminu here
See how eerily this all lines up? It’s like the cosmic script has already been written, and the Mavs are merely acting it out. If the NBA steals my ideas on the subject when making the championship DVD, I’m going to sue them. And I’m not lying this time like I was lying all those other times. I’m serious. These are my intellectual properties.
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WAIT, what about Brian Cardinal???? Crap.