Elfrid Payton 11 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (12/19/2014)

In lieu of talking about how awesome Elfrid Payton is (moderately awesome, in case you wondering), I’m going to talk about how awesome Buffalo wings are.

The chicken companies scored a major coup when they convinced the American public that legs and wings, formerly the least desirable parts of the bird, were actually really good and were to be desired above the now maligned breast and thigh. They certainly got me good.

The sauce is the main component that determines Buffalo wing quality, but they are definitely better when the birds used to produce them are steroid-pumped rage-chickens. Screw off with these dinky little “wings”. I want huge chunks of flesh in my mouth.

Back to the sauce. Chipotle or Sriracha anything can just go away. I don’t want a citrus-whatever BS sauce touching my precious wings. Traditional sauce or nothing.

Funny thing is, when I went to Buffalo on vacation I didn’t even get wings, not once. I’m kind of a weakling when it comes to spicy stuff, and I didn’t want to waste prime relaxation time sitting on the john experiencing the red ring of death. Did I miss out? I probably would have been disappointed in the non-transcendence of the wings anyway.

Elfrid Payton is the best passer in the draft by far, which is good since that is a hard-to-teach skill. His finishing and shooting will come along later. In fact, I’d move Oladipo now while his value is still high and go all-in on Elfrid.

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