Matt Barnes 26 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2015)

The Clippers commentators, when they weren’t yelling “BINGO” at maximum volume into their mics, repeatedly mentioned how this game was a homecoming for Matt Barnes, who went to high school in Sacramento. They kept saying it like it was a good thing.

If you’re a professional basketball player, going back to your hometown is like the worst thing you can do. All your friends are there, but now, instead of enjoying your company on its own merits, they want to hang out with you just in case you decide that you’ll buy them a house or a car. They’ll also pitch horrible business ideas to you nonstop. Even people who you didn’t even know that well will try to cling on to you and grab some residual fame. If you aren’t wise to their deceptions, you might even end up giving some of your fortune away, which is stupid, because they didn’t even do anything. You’re the basketball player, not them.

See? Experiencing all that would suck. That’s why your only friends can be your teammates, your coaches, and a bag of Ranch-Dipped Hot Wing Flavor Doritos.

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