Jason Terry 16 Points Full Highlights (4/18/2015)

The Mavericks-Rockets first round matchup is fraught with storylines. Terry won a ‘chip with the Mavs a while back. So did Corey Brewer. Chandler Parsons, meanwhile, is fighting to show his original team that he was worth all that money.

Those storylines all sort of suck, honestly, when you think about the biggest one of all: Jason Terry is secretly a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and at the right time, he will unveil his true identity while the cartoon theme song plays in the arena. The camera will zoom in on the shocked faces of the Dallas players as Terry runs around with his shell and his greenness, kicking all their asses.

I’m not normally very excited to watch the Rockets, but with the turtle transformation liable to go down at any second, I guess I’m going to have to tune in to all of their games. My inside information tells me that his metamorphosis might take place during an elimination game, but my sources have been wrong before, like when they told me that Rajon Rondo’s spaceship was going to land during halftime and there was going to be a big alien fight. So I’m watching every game in this series.

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