Jeff Green 22 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2016)

Jeff Green: better than Blake Griffin? Let’s analyze the facts in several key areas.

Number of dunks this year: Green has dunked it 36 times this year, a number that is greater than Griffin’s 34. Advantage: Green

Quality of dunks this year: I’ve looked at a bunch of Griffin dunks this year, and they kind of suck, compared to his past jamming prowess. I don’t know about Jeff’s slams, but they couldn’t possibly be more disappointing than Griffin’s flaccid attempts. Advantage: Green

Number of Clippers staff members punched: Griffin, to the best of my knowledge, has only punched 1 Clipper employee, equipment manager Matias Testi. Green, on the other hand, has punched ALL the Clippers’ employees, starting with Doc Rivers and finishing with the chick who makes the cheese sauce for the nachos. Advantage: Green

Points scored (tonight): Green scored 22 points tonight. Griffin scored 0. Advantage: Green

Points scored (career): Green has scored 8648 for his career. Griffin has scored 8749. Those with advanced mathematical training will note that Griffin’s total is greater than Jeff’s. Tentative advantage: Griffin

Rapport with Zach Randolph: Green has a good relationship with Randolph, since they were recently teammates on the Grizzlies. Comparatively, Griffin and Randolph hate each other very much, so much so that they send each other Christmas cards that have nothing written in them except crude representations of middle fingers. Advantage: Green

Number of color-names in last name: Green has one name of a color contained in his last name. Griffin has none, unless you consider “Iffin” a color, which you shouldn’t, because it isn’t. Advantage: Green

In conclusion, the facts have been analyzed, and cannot be denied. Jeff Green is better than Blake Griffin.

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