Marreese Speights 17 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2016)

“Yo, Andrew, I got a really weird question to ask you,” said Marreese Speights, walking up to the tall Australian in the locker room.

“Weird questions are my specialty,” replied Andrew. “Ask away.”

Marreese paused while he tried to figure out how to phrase his question delicately. That proved too much of a challenge, so he instead asked bluntly, “Do you ever get alien transmissions in your head?”

Andrew looked anxious. “Not usually,” he replied evasively. “Are you on some kind of hallucinogenic?”

Marreese shook his head. “No. At least, I don’t think so. It’s just lately I’ve been hearing alien voices and seeing all kinds of visions of Earth being taken over by aliens and stuff. And every time it happens the bump on my head starts hurting real bad.”

Andrew lowered his voice to a whisper. “I lied. I get those too. From a bump under my armpit.”

“You do?” Marreese was relieved to hear that, if he was going crazy, at least he wasn’t the only one.

“Yeah. They talk about how worthless humans are and how I’m supposed to be a prophet to tell humanity about the impending alien invasion.”

Suddenly, both players fell to the floor, Andrew clutching his arm, and Marreese his head. Their eyes locked in fear as they both heard the same extraterrestrial message inside their minds:

“Even when your efforts are combined, a pathetic race like yourself cannot even hope to resist our indomitable might!” the screeching voice announced. Both players were assaulted with scenes in their eyes of gray-green aliens toting laser guns, effortlessly wiping out crowds of weeping Earthlings as eerie purple lightning cracked through the sky and chilling alien laughter echoed through the ruined streets.

Neither man saw Shaun Livingston enter the locker room, witness the odd scene unfolding upon the floor, and immediately turn back out.

“You can tell anybody you want! They will never believe yooooooooouuuu!” the voice continued. “And when our ships finally land upon your feeble, unprepared planet, the chaos of the destruction will only be matched by the chaos within your own minds as you realize that you have failed your own race in the most despicable manner possible!”

Just as suddenly as it arrived, the alien presence departed, leaving both Andrew and Marreese sweating and heaving on the floor. Marreese could see that Andrew had lost control of his bladder, then looked down to see that he had done the same shameful thing. The two players looked at each other with somber expressions, unable to find the appropriate words.

The alien transmission came back for a split second. “SOON!” it yelled, and this time, the vision of the blue sphere of Earth turned red with flame did not dissipate so quickly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.