D’Angelo Russell 32 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2016)

Snitches get… something. What was it again? It rhymes with snitches, I’m pretty sure, because I remember this phrase being really catchy. Snitches get… DAMMIT. They get something. There’s a reason I bought that god-damn rhyming dictionary, so where the heck is it? Google is no help here… oh yeah!

Bitches! Snitches get bitches!

Because D’Angelo Russell has TOTALLY gotten with Iggy Azalea in the aftermath of that whole “recording Nick Young saying a whole bunch of incriminating stuff” scandal. There is no doubt about it, that was the whole reason D-Russ did what he did, and it worked, because he is PORKING her. Probably as we speak.

You go D’Angelo! But, and I don’t want to sound like I’m being critical or anything, but couldn’t he have chosen to snitch on a teammate with a better-looking girlfriend? Iggy looks weird. Really weird. There’s just something off about her (probably the nose), and if we’re being honest, she’s like a 4/10 at best, maybe bump her up to 5/10 if you’ve got the beer goggles on. I don’t know what Marcelo Huertas’ GF looks like, but I bet she’s a sexy Brazilian with a huge booty. Couldn’t D’Angelo have snitched on him instead? Especially if he’s going to ruin the Lakers’ chemistry in the process.

I appreciate trying to find poon wherever and however you can, but couldn’t he have gone after a chick where doing the deed wouldn’t be equivalent to Frodo entering the Mines of Moria?

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