I have gotten to the point where vanilla Rudy Gobert dunks are not enough to excite me. I am a twisted and perverted man; the depravity of my desires knows no limits. I need something harder, something more shocking and disgusting than just Gobert catching an alley-oop with nobody around.
What I need is for Gobert to dunk DIRECTLY ON people. Repeatedly. No more of these solo dunks under the rim. I need him to pound people with his ball, not just pound them with it but RAM them with it, after cocking it way back. We’ve seen him do it before, and I think it was those forbidden glimpses of Gobert’s naughty side that ruined his dunks for me. Why would I be satisfied with plain-Jane slammy whams when I know full well that Gobert could be brutalizing people under the basket with his body?
This highlight video does not satisfy me. Maybe it will satisfy those of you out there who have not stumbled into the abyss of perversity like I have. What will my next sick pleasure be? Watching Gordon Hayward break people’s ankles? I shudder to think.