I have discarded my old nickname for Paul Zipser, “The Zipper”. It was not a relevant nickname, because he basically doesn’t have any zipper-like attributes. He’s not especially fast (a zipper could be one who zips around really quickly), he doesn’t play especially great defense (a zipper could be a guy who zips people up), and he doesn’t make people shut up with his quality of play (a zipper could be someone who makes people zip it). I’m sorry for ever creating such a lame and un-topical moniker.
So, instead of racking my brain for new nicknames that would probably suck (I actually did come up with a list, and guess what they all sucked), I turned to the power of SOCIAL MEDIA and CROWDSOURCING. With those tools, a new nickname was brought to my attention, courtesy of YouTube user and Pueininog: “Zipskreig”. Correcting for proper German spelling, we get “Zipskrieg”, which is an awesome nickname because Zipser is German and we all have heard of “Blitzkrieg” and “Krieg” is German for “war” and war is something we definitely want to idolize and what better way to idolize war then with nicknames for our favorite sports heroes? It’s perfect.
If you are uncomfortable with this new nickname, you can use “The Sour Kraut” instead.