I know that Nick Nurse is a championship-winning coach and that he is generally well-regarded among learned NBA scholars (a group which I have tried to force myself into, to no avail), but the fact that he seems so reluctant to use Chris Boucher to his full effect is, in my opinion a major indictment of his coaching skills, or at least a major indictment of his ability to evaluate big men. And, if you’ve spent any time at all on my channel, you’ll know that my “opinions” are more like “facts”, so the fact of the matter is, Nurse’s big man rotations need some work.
Take last year’s playoffs. The most points that Boucher scored in any single playoff game was three. Three goddamn points. We see from this video, and many other videos that I’ve uploaded to my channel, that Boucher is fully capable of scoring more than three points. In fact, he can score up to ten times as many points as that. So why wasn’t he playing? Was there some matchup problem? News flash to Dicklick Nurse: the matchup problem is the center who can block shots and shoot threes like a trebuchet and drop thirty-burgers. The matchup problem isn’t Daniel Theis. The matchup problem isn’t Jarrett Allen. I like those guys, but they’re not a matchup problem.
Fast forward to this season. Boucher is at least playing in every game, which is a good start, but is there a reason he sometimes only gets twenty minutes? Is there something I’m missing here? Last time I checked, the only other center on the roster is Aron Baynes. The idea of Baynes is good, but the reality of Baynes isn’t very good. Meanwhile, the idea of Boucher is great, and the reality of Boucher is even greater. And don’t even get me started on Alex Len. Basically, Boucher only has a few meatballs that he has to beat out for minutes, and he has decisively beaten those meatballs into meatsludge, but he’s still not getting all the minutes that it seems like he should be getting.
Raptors fans, please shed light on this situation before I get upset and do something drastic. That drastic thing being hate-eating a whole box of cold Pop-Tarts while my body is quaking with tremors of barely-suppressed rage.