Well, I don’t know how much longer Nikola Jokic is gonna be out, but I do know that I’m missing those sweet Serbian views on my videos. So I am initiating a new social media campaign with the goal of getting Serbs to adopt Malik Beasley as an honorary Serbian. That way, whenever The Measly Beasley has a good game, I get a hundred thousand views on the resultant highlight videos as well as a bunch of incomprehensible comments in a foreign language.
The first step to any successful social media campaign is the creation of an memorable, unique, and generally awesome hashtag. You will be pleased to note that step one is already completed because I already have such a hashtag: #MalikBeasleyIsASerb .
The second step is to use the hashtag in as many places as possible in order to heighten the chances of it going “viral”. A virulent hashtag ensures that the message contained within the hashtag reaches a large audience. In this case, I only really care about attracting the attention of Serbs, so I custom-coded some spambots and have just been spamming all their sites with my hashtag nonstop for the past 48 hours. The view count on this video will be the first test to gauge whether the campaign is working or whether I need to up the ante by using a botnet of hacked refrigerators to broaden my reach.
The third step is to create a cryptocurrency called “MalikSerbCoin” and get Serbia to adopt it as its officially currency. My timeline to achieve this step is four weeks, give or take a few days if it takes me longer than expected to find a starving Russian willing to code up a new cryptocurrency for cheap.
It’s gonna rule so hard when all my Malik Beasley videos are getting 100k views or more.
Hey DownToBuck! Two things! Post a video of Nikola Vucevic’s first triple double of the season against the hawks tonight! 32 pts, 12 rebs, and 11 assists! And subscribe to my channel, titled Ben Granovsky, with nearly 2,300 subscribers! Thank you!