Brandon “Baddy Chuck” Jennings will never be an All-Star. All-Stars don’t shoot 40% from the field unless they’re named Allen Iverson. Too bad, because the All-Star game’s “run and chuck” mode of play is perfectly suited to what Jennings likes to do on the court, which is run around really fast and chuck bad shots….
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Klay Thompson Career High 32 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2013)
Klay Thompson is an integral part of a major discussion in today’s NBA. Race. More specifically, is Klay Thompson a white dude or a black dude. Or something else? I don’t know, man. He LOOKS white. Really white. He even has a Jew-looking nose. But his dad Mychal Thompson was definitely a black dude. So…
Read MoreAndre Drummond 18 Points/18 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/29/2013)
Andre Drummond is the perfect case study for why NBA scouting is crap. Except for a rare sure-fire prospect like LeBron or Anthony Davis it’s pretty much a crapshoot as to your draft pick being good. Players who are bad get picked comparatively high (Austin Rivers). Players who are amazing get picked comparatively low (Andre…
Read MoreAndrew Bogut 12 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/28/2013)
Andrew Bogut is pretty much a walking injury machine. Not his fault, of course, but when people look back into the history books they’re gonna say “Andrew Bogut. Dude just couldn’t stay healthy. And why did the Bucks pick him over the GOAT Chris Paul?”. Which is too bad, because he’s actually a really good…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 22 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (1/27/2013)
Ryan Anderson is a 3-point machine. I have heard rumors that you can hear a faint metallic clinking sound as he runs up and down the court, and the way his release never changes is simply superhuman. Has anybody checked his body for robotic implants? I never see him drinking Gatorade on the bench… W̷a̸i̴t̶,̷…
Read MoreDahntay Jones 11 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (1/27/2013)
Dahntay Jones AKA “Dahntay’s Infehrno” has not had a very exciting career. I say this with confidence because my mental encyclopedia’s entry for the guy reads like this: “6-foot-five (ish). 30-something years old. Played for the Pacers for a few years. Never was all that great. For more information, see entry for Dominique Jones, since…
Read MoreBrandon Knight Career High 31 Points/Career Low 0 Assists Full Highlights (1/27/2013)
(Note: the following may make more sense if you read the description for my first Brandon Knight highlights) Noticeable just on the edge of hearing, the dull murmur of the city broke the otherwise perfect silence of the room. Brandon Knight tossed restlessly in bed. Somewhere inside he felt he’d had this dream before… “You…
Read MoreLuke Ridnour 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/26/2013)
Luke Ridnour. Is he a starting-caliber point guard? No. Was he secretly happy that Rubio injured himself? Yes. How often has he fantasized about slamming Rubio’s knees with a crowbar until they resemble undercooked Hamburger Helper? Very often. How often has he fantasized about dunking in-game? More often.
Read MoreMarc Gasol 20 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (1/25/2012)
Have you seen that picture of Marc Gasol in high school? He was a total fatty. But the rolls of blubber encasing his body disguised the potential that bubbled in his veins. In between eating whole boxes of ho-hos and ding-dongs, Gasol would studiously work on his post moves and footwork, waiting patiently for the…
Read MoreKyle Korver 27 Points (8 Threes) Full Highlights (1/25/2013)
I love white three-point shooters. They’re my favorite type of player, because If I somehow by some accident made it into the NBA that’s what I would be. If any NBA talent scouts are reading this, please, don’t hesitate to get in contact with me. Kyle Korver has cemented himself as one of the very…
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