New nomination for the Worst Nickname Ever award: “Johnny Badger”. I don’t even have to go into the myriad ways that this nickname sucks. Every conceivable facet, every angle from which this nickname could be approached, it all looks the same: like a big pile of badger feces. Despite his nickname suckage, which is not…
Read MoreRudy Gobert Career High 12 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
Rudy “Gogurt” Gobert has not yet made a shot outside of the paint during his time in the NBA. He has only attempted three. As admirable as it is to know one’s limitations and try to operate within them, the fact remains that Gobert will be merely a specialist player until he expands his range….
Read MoreK.J. McDaniels 17 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
Sam Hinkie smiled as KJ McDaniels walked into his office. “Hey, KJ, good to see you. I am almost done with my work. Please, take a seat.” The rookie looked around warily and the office of his GM. It was furnished as one might expect; a lavish desk with a throne-like chair to sit on,…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 14 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
The last good veteran player on the Timberwolves, Kevin Martin, is out indefinitely with an injury. You know what that means! Unadulterated tanking madness! Perhaps tanking isn’t the right word. They simply don’t have any choice right now but to play their young players and hope for the best. This should excite fans, like myself,…
Read MoreAnthony Bennett Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
Kevin Love 16.7 ppg Andrew Wiggins 10.7 ppg + Anthony Bennett 5.9 ppg = 16.6ppg Those stats are from before tonight’s games, so the numbers for the #1 picks will go up and Love’s will go down. That’s a pretty good trade for the Wolves just from a raw production standpoint, not to mention the…
Read MoreElfrid Payton 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
Elfrid Payon, like a lot of rookies past and present, is shooting really badly in his inaugural season. His tendency to get shots in the paint blocked and his lack of a consistent jumper combine to form one horrendous field-goal percentage. His passing ability looks good, the best out of all the rookies, but when…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan 12 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (11/20/2014)
Consider this to be a sneak preview of my “DeAndre Jordan All 279 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-15 Season Dunkilation)” video, which will hopefully be coming towards your network interface card somewhere around June. There is nothing here but dunks. There are no free-throws (DeAndre missed the two that he tried). There are no layups (DeAndre…
Read MoreJordan Farmar 13 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/19/2014)
I should never have done these highlights. I knew what I was getting into, but in my desire to please my rabid subscriber-base I disregarded my misgivings. Now, whenever I close my eyes, I see Jordan Farmar’s gigantic Dumbo ears flapping above me. I can even hear them. Two huge auditory organs, forever tormenting me…
Read MoreJabari Parker 23 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2014)
Jabari Parker, clad only in his underwear and shivering, placed the first bratwurst in his mouth, gagging at its unappetizing texture. Zaza Pachulia looked on amusedly as the stopwatch ran in his hand. “If you have trouble with first brat, imagine how number 10 feel! Remember, no puke or you lose and receive mocking!” Jabari…
Read MoreKostas Papanikolaou Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2014)
“I’m gonna send a note over to Kevin McHale and want to know why he hasn’t played more.” I don’t know, Hubie, I can’t imagine a single reason why Kostas Papanikolaou isn’t getting 30 minutes a game. Maybe it’s because he’s been shooting sub-30 percent on the season? Can’t really blame the commentators for being…
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