Ben Simmons stared at his coach in disbelief. “How many do I have to make?” Brett Brown, already in a sour mood, glared at Ben. “Was I not clear? Five thousand free throws. You embarrassed me tonight, and I don’t want what happened tonight to ever happen again. Five thousand makes from the stripe, then…
Read MoreTag: Philadelphia 76ers
Dario Saric 24 Points Full Highlights (11/29/2017)
It’s getting cold outside. That’s what winter means in my neck of the woods, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Humans didn’t evolve all this way just so that we could walk outside in November and be at risk of death. And it’s just going to get colder. Dammit. Aren’t we supposed to be…
Read MoreDario Saric 21 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2017)
My quest to make highlights of every white person on the 76ers roster ends here, with three of four successfully highlit. Furkan Korkmaz highlights, sadly, are not going to happen. No matter how much you beg, no matter how much you plead. I have standards. This Dario Saric vid will have to do. Like T.J….
Read MoreT.J. McConnell 15 Points/13 Assists Full Highlights (11/25/2017)
One might be tempted to take this game as evidence that T.J. McConnell is no longer being marginalized in Philadelphia. “15 and 13, how could a player who is being marginalized put up those kind of numbers?”, you ask yourself. “The only reasonably conclusion is that the 76er’s coaching staff is now giving McConnell the…
Read MoreJ.J. Redick 29 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (11/25/2017)
There have been a lot of revenge games going on this season. Players who were cast aside by the teams they thought loved them, exacting sweet nectary justice on the FO’s responsible. Justice taking the form of three-point barrages, punishing inside scoring, and snide postgame comments. What J.J. Redick did tonight wasn’t exactly a revenge…
Read MoreBen Simmons 27 Points/0 Dunks Full Highlights (11/20/2017)
You might think I’m dissing Ben Simmons by mentioning the fact that he didn’t dunk this game in the video title. I swear I’m not. I’m just trying to be helpful. There are a whole bunch of people out there who do not want to watch a Simmons vid if it doesn’t have Thunders from…
Read MoreBen Simmons 23 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2017)
Once again, Ben Simmons falls just short of a triple-double. In case he hasn’t realized it yet, I’m going to tell him: this is the NBA. This isn’t LSU anymore, there’s no one to hold your hand and tell you when you need to start grabbing more rebounds. When you realize that you have over…
Read MoreBen Simmons 18 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
OFFICIAL PLAYERS WHO SHOULD HAVE DEFERRED REBOUNDS TO BEN SIMMONS SO HE COULD GET A TRIPLE-DOUBLE POWER RANKINGS: 1. J.J. Redick. What are you doing getting eight rebounds man? You’re old and you have T-Rex arms. 2. Dario Saric. Soft euros aren’t allowed to get rebounds. 3. Robert Covington. Just because you got paid doesn’t…
Read MoreRobert Covington Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
Looking at the list the highest-scoring games in Robert Covington’s career is making me sad. All I wanted to do was confirm that 31 is indeed his career-high in points. I didn’t sign up for the part where Covington’s eight next-highest games all resulted in losses for his team. Basketball-reference should provide like a spoiler…
Read MoreBen Simmons 22 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (11/13/2017)
This is why the NCAA banned dunking. Right here. Just watch this video and try to tell me that you don’t feel disgust burning in the pit of your stomach. Such barbarity I have never before seen on an NBA court. Ben Simmons did receive one technical for hanging on the rim. That was great,…
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