San Antonio Spurs – Page 36

Marco Belinelli 19 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/2/2013)

♫ “I love-a making my-a pasta and my pizza,” ♪ sang Marco as he chopped scallions in his kitchen. ♫ “Scallions and garlic, so delicious-a!” ♪ Now he walked over to his stove, where a small pot of tortellini was boiling. ♫ “Tortellini! Spaghetti! Fettuccine! Hey! Marco’s-a cooking some-a fantastico food-a!” ♪ Marco did a…

Danny Green 24 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (6/16/2013)

(If this description makes no sense to you, read the description on this video as an introduction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAvQnU…) Danny, flush with success after pummeling Ray Allen’s Finals-three-point record, approached his beloved coach. “Coach, I’ve been thinking ’bout that ritual that you performed when I was signed.” “Danny, I told you then and I tell you…

Danny Green 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (6/9/2013)

The voice of Gregg Popovich emanated from beneath a druid cloak. “Let the ceremony commence.” Danny Green, strapped to the center of a rough-hewn wooden platform, wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. Was this what they always did to their newly signed players? Was the pentagram really necessary? Why was a sick purple light…

Matt Bonner 12 Points/0 Dunks Full Highlights (5/19/2013)

One of my loser coworkers just bet me that I couldn’t name five things whiter than Matt Bonner. Loser has to buy the whole department Guiness-dipped quesadillas at Bojiminy’s Irish-Mexican Grille and Cantina. Here we go: 1. Matt Carroll (this is easy!) 2. Freshly-fallen snow 3. Copier paper 4. … 5. Screw you Steve! You…

Tiago Splitter 14 Points Full Highlights (5/17/2013)

“Hello, welcome to Tiago’s Banana Splitters, what can I get for you today?” “I’d like one standard splitter please, with double banana.” “Coming right up.” A tall, stubbled figure shambled through the door of the small, shoddily decorated restaurant. “I’ll have 50 of those famous Tiago’s banana splitters, and hurry up I’m in a rush!”…

Manu Ginobili 21 Points Full Highlights (5/12/2013)

Longtime readers of my descriptions may notice that I am preoccupied with the concept of race. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Race doesn’t exist. It is simply the nature of our feeble primate brains to compartmentalize other humans based on criteria such as their skin tone and facial proportions. We must transcend the…

DeJuan Blair 13 Points Full Highlights (4/26/2013)

Check out the horrible non-assist at 0:29. And then check out the one right after that. I’m livid right now. I can barely type out this description filled as my eyes are with searing red hate. DeJuan Blair’s trade value has been artificially increased due to these blatant book-cookings. A rival GM will look at…

Kawhi Leonard 16 Points Full Highlights (4/24/2013)

I lied. These aren’t full highlights. The first shot that Leonard made is missing. Damn Rockets game got in the way. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m just here to say that this is the last one. The time of inverity and deception has ended. DownToBuck will try very hard from…

Gary Neal 25 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/15/2013)

Gary Neal was chillaxing on the couch, wearing his comfy PJ’s and watching some Price is Right, when his phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and, without a glance at the incoming number, answered, “Sup. This is Gary.” He almost dropped the phone when the responding voice came not from the phone,…

Patty Mills 23 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2013)

Patty “No this is Patrick” Mills has proven that he can be a good scorer off the bench. So why doesn’t he get any minutes at all under Popovich? Is it because he’s a total chucker? Probably. Here against the Warriors, Patty watched Stephen Curry drain three after contested three. He thought to himself “I…