DeMarre Carroll 21 Points Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

I don’t know how the Nets commentators managed to sound so excited after DeMarre Carroll hit another three. For one thing, it’s only DeMarre Carroll, not even someone exciting. For another, they were playing the Pacers. I could list more reasons to not get excited, but it would take up a lot of space and…

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Serge Ibaka 20 Points Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

Sergeballu LaMu Sayonga Loom Walahas Jonas Hugo Ibaka is the dude on the Raptors who least wants to pass the ball. They’ve been sharing it well lately, but Ibaka, he wants to SCORE, dammit. Same with C.J. Miles, which is a little more inexcusable. Ibaka, at least, is a bigman who usually gets the ball…

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Jarell Martin 17 Points Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

Jarell Martin is trying to do things on offense this year. Things that he, maybe, shouldn’t be trying to do. Three-point things. Step-back things. Pull-up things. At the same time, why shouldn’t he be trying to expand his game? The Grizzlies are doing nothing right now, and the national spotlight is about as far from…

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Donovan Mitchell 24 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

Okay, for real, if Donovan Mitchell is gonna win ROY of the Year then he needs to get more triple-doubles. Ben Simmons gets triple-doubles, and he’s gonna win if things don’t change right now. Problem is, Mitchell doesn’t have a game with more than 10 rebounds OR assists this season, but that’s okay. We can…

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Tomas Satoransky 9 Points/11 Assists/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

The Wizards have now won 7 out of the 9 games Tomas Satoransky has started since John Wall got injured. You cannot tell me that that is a coincidence. Or, you can, but I will laugh in your face because here’s the frickin’ dealio: Satoransky is better at playing winning basketball than Wall. Wall gets…

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Ish Smith 22 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

I know this is a video about Ish Smith, I definitely know that because I’m the one who made it, but I would like to take this moment to complain about the lack of minutes for Henry Ellenson. Ellenson doesn’t get to play enough, as I already implied. The reason that he should get to…

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James Johnson 22 Points Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

In doing research for this description, I found out that you can watch highlights of James Johnson scoring 20 points (against the Heat, I’m pretty sure that was the reason they gave him his current contract) as a rookie for the Bulls. He looks springy! Also the guy who uploaded it has a bunch of…

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Ben Simmons Triple Double 18 Pts/12 Rebs/10 Asts/2 Jumpers Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

Ben Simmons was snubbed, by my estimation, about 10 times (Goran Dragic are you serious????) for the All-Star game this year. That sucks for him, and it also sucks for me, because I have to keep making this dude’s highlights until the end of the year where he’ll finally stop being a rookie. Not like…

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Pascal Siakam 17 Points Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

Jonas Valanciunas, shirtless, raised his eyebrows when Pascal Siakam sat next to him. His eyes got even wider when Pascal began to caress his biceps. “Uh, what are you doing man?” Pascal’s attention was fixed on Jonas’ arm muscles as he rubbed them up and down. “Trying to get some of your three-point shooting to…

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