Drunk on vodka and hopped up on krokodil, Andrei “Russian Roulette” Kirilenko stumbles into the arena to score 26 points on 9-of-12 shooting. The bags under his eyes tell the sad story of substance dependency, love forlorn, and the uncanny ability to hit shots from anywhere on the floor. It also helps that Minnesota’s climate is very similar to that of Russia. Nothing prepares you better for an NBA game than enduring subzero temperatures and fighting off packs of rabid arctic wolves on your way through the parking lot.