“Mrs. Redick, we’re calling about your son Jonathan. He was caught skipping class today.” “Don’t worry Mr. Osterman, I’ll give him a lecture when he gets home. A fourth-grader should know better than to ignore his education.” “It’s not that, Mrs. Redick. He failed to go to his third-period English class because he was still…
Read MoreMonth: January 2013
Ersan Ilyasova 27 Points/16 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/22/2013)
I try to do repeats as temporally separate as possible. Sometimes it doesn’t work out. Like when Ersan Ilyasova has two huge games in a row. 27 and 14 followed up by an even better 27 and 16. By the time the end of the season rolls around I’m gonna be doing “Ersan Ilyasova 27…
Read MoreKyrie Irving 40 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2013)
Pop Quiz time: Which of the following is true? A.) Kyrie Irving is a total beast B.) Kyrie Irving is a surefire all-star this year C.) A team with Lebron and Kyrie would infinty-peat until the universe dies, and then keep doing it anyway because they are so unstoppable D.) All of the above If…
Read MoreKirk Hinrich 22 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/21/2013)
Kirk Hinrich is not really filling Derrick Rose’s shoes very well. Can he even dunk? Derrick Rose dunked all the time, Kirk, come on man can’t you just dunk it a few times? Look at Nate that guy is like 5 feet tall and he can do it. Just try harder. I guess we can’t…
Read MoreMartell Webster 24 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/21/2013)
Is Martell “W-Mart” Webster a bust? Yes. You could state it that way. But last time I called somebody a bust in one of these descriptions, some homer commentator called me “retarded” and accused me of only looking at box scores, so I will refrain from referring to Webster as a bust. He’s actually really…
Read MoreKemba Walker Career High 35 Points (6 Threes) Full Highlights (1/21/2013)
Remember when Kemba Walker had a historically bad rookie season in terms of shooting? Yeah. That was a blast. Except for Bobcats fans. But everyone else loved it. But now he is, get this, an actually good player! I didn’t really expect this. I mean, yeah, he’s still a total chucker, but now he shoots…
Read MoreMike Scott 11 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2013)
When I’m scrolling through box scores looking for good performances to showcase, I get annoyed when an Atlanta Hawk appears. Not that I have anything against the Hawks. It’s just that they use the crappiest camera angles in the league. Case in point: the first clip in this video. You can’t see anything! It’s like…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 27 Points (7 Threes) Full Highlights (1/21/2013)
“Ryan Anderson is the realest brotha I ever met. Dude is 100% straight up thug life forever.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Read MoreCourtney Lee 16 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2013)
Courtney Lee has been a bit of disappointment this season for the Celtics. He is not alone in that regard, but this description is not about Jason Terry or Darko Milicic. Celtics fans thought they were getting a decent scorer who would come off the bench and have a girl’s name. Well, he comes off…
Read MoreMatt Bonner 17 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2013)
Matt Bonner is seriously white. So white that he wears New Balance shoes. He is notable for being the only person to dunk while wearing that brand. Ever. He is also notable for his absolutely pure, if a little unorthodox, shooting stroke. He would be a lot more useful if he could get that thing…
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