Sorry Suns fans. All that promise you had, when you surprisingly almost made the playoffs on the wings of Goran Dragic? All gone, turned into “superstar potential” Eric Bledsoe and “dead” Brandon Knight. And Archie Goodwin. Can’t forget him, he’s going to be really good this season believe me for real this time.
Lucky for you guys, I have discovered a plan to bring the Suns back to relevancy! Here it is, in a few simple steps:
1. Play non-standard lineups more minutes than you should
2. Lose games
3. Lose more games
4. Trade anyone scoring over 12 points per game for second-rounders
5. Draft Ben Simmons
6. ??????
7. Profit
Before anyone gets all mad at me, yes, this isn’t my own original work. I found it in a filing cabinet I bought off Craigslist, in a manila folder marked “Sam’s GM Plans”, among other more benign things like copies of some dude’s foot X-rays and a recipe purporting to produce “the sickest cheese-steaks ever”.