“Dear Diary,
Well, the Rockets are probably going to miss the playoffs. We just lost to the Suns. How do you even do that? They suck. I guess losing to bad teams is something that happens when your own team is itself a bad team.
Hopefully nobody ever reads or further disseminates my private diary because I’m about to throw a bunch of my teammates under the bus here.
Corey Brewer. Sucks. Donkey balls. His nickname is “the Greyhound” but I call him “the Gayhound” because I hate him so much.
Josh Smith. That was just a fluke when he was good for us for a third of one season. He’s the least self-aware player I’ve ever seen. When he shoots jumpers the whole arena moans. Sometimes I pray to God that Josh will get stabbed outside a nightclub and have to retire.
Ty Lawson was supposed to be good but all he was was an alcoholic. Then we traded his sorry ass. How do you go from being a fringe all-star to being so bad that Pat Beverley starts over you? I hope he gets drunk and crashes into a tree like Jason Kidd did. Speaking of horrible human beings.
Dwight Howard has no post moves. Sometimes I think we’d be better if we just had Robin Lopez. I hope that he’s gone next year. Or, even better, that I’m gone next year.
JAMES HARDEN YOU MIGHT BE AN MVP CANDIDATE BUT YOUR BALLHOG STYLE OF PLAY DOESN’T HELP US WIN GAMES. There I said it. I don’t feel any better though. YOUR ASSIST NUMBERS ARE FAKE. Nope, still don’t feel any better.
Well, that’s enough diary-ing for one day. I thought this was supposed to be therapeutic but I’m madder now than when I started.
-Trevor”