Whoever this replacement commentator is for the Hawks, he has a huge man-boner for Kent Bazemore, and more specifically, the Bazed God’s athleticism. He probably memorized one fact about every player and can only say that one thing every time the player in question does something on the court. I wasn’t even aware the Bazed…
Read MoreDay: April 9, 2016
Matt Barnes 24 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
Matt Barnes burst through the door of his own house, seething with rage. “Where’s that asshole? Where’s that asshole?” he bellowed, running from room to room. In the guest bedroom, he caught sight of the backyard outside the window. There were people gathered there, and when Matt picked out the face of his enemy, his…
Read MoreLuke Babbitt 17 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
This right here might be the most anomalous Luke Babbitt video ever made. All things considered, it might be the most anomalous NBA highlight ever made full stop. Not because Luke Babbitt scores seventeen points – that’s common for him these days. No, it’s the manner in which those points are scored: No three-pointers. Only…
Read MoreJ.R. Smith 24 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
It used to be that J.R. Smith was the clown of the league. He would make off-color tweets about girls trying to get his pipe and he would take pictures of some chick’s huge butt to post on Twitter and he would get his brother signed by teams for no reason and his family members…
Read MoreToney Douglas 23 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
This is probably the longest run of solid play for Toney “Baloney” Douglas since his Knicks days when he was a rookie and nobody knew how bad he was. This guy has tricked a lot of fanbases into thinking he would be good, and I’m not doing those fanbases any favors by making all these…
Read MoreCristiano Felicio 16 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
It’s a shame that the Bulls probably aren’t going to the playoffs (actually it isn’t screw you Bulls you can wallow in the same misery that the Bucks are right now), because then we’d get to see playoff-Cristiano Felicio unleashed. I mean, the regular-season version of Felicio has only been unleased for the few hours…
Read MoreSeth Curry 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
For a while there in the second quarter, fans in Sacramento were watching a reincarnation of Stephen Curry launching deep threes before them. This is what people have been waiting for with regards to Seth Curry; a glimpse of the Curry magic that made his brother the superstar he is today. And it was truly…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 19 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
A lot of mean-spirited people have not nice things to say about Marcus Smart. He’s ugly. He takes a ridiculous amount of threes for how well he shoots them. He’s a positionless combo guard ineffective in every conceivable role one could come up with for him. He has ugly hair. He has no respect for…
Read MoreArchie Goodwin 24 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
This season has been a revelation for Archie Goodwin. Before this season, his ability to produce on the court was in serious question. Now, it has been revealed that he CAN produce on the court, sometimes. If given enough minutes and the freedom to do whatever he wants on the court. And, the production he…
Read MoreJames Ennis 18 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
Does James Ennis look… different than he used to? I have an image in my head of how James Ennis looked while he was on the Heat, and it doesn’t match up at all with the dude I’m watching play for the Pelicans. It’s not even close, really. This guy on the Pelicans looks like…
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